This annual event hosted by Jenny Craig Int'l honors the top franchise owners, franchises and sales personnel. Wow... this event left me speechless! Check out the pics of what each guest received at their tables...
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Well, LAA-TEE-DAH! (Dec '06)
I received a call earlier in the year to shoot an event for Jenny Craig Int'l. This is the second event I've been asked to do for the company - and wow, what an honor! Until I arrived at this event I had no idea it was going to be such a production. And "production" it was.... film crew, writers and photographers from the TV show "Extra! Extra!" AND "InTouch" magazine were on hand!!! And as the "official photographer" of the event I had an all access pass to everything - and the inside scoop on the surprise star performance! This event was held at the Disney Grand Californian Hotel & Spa - "Where Magic Meets Grandeur". (Guest star? American Idol Season 2 Finalist - Kimberley Locke!!!)
This annual event hosted by Jenny Craig Int'l honors the top franchise owners, franchises and sales personnel. Wow... this event left me speechless! Check out the pics of what each guest received at their tables...
This annual event hosted by Jenny Craig Int'l honors the top franchise owners, franchises and sales personnel. Wow... this event left me speechless! Check out the pics of what each guest received at their tables...
Child's Perspective (Dec '06)
This giddy child has the look of someone getting ready to experience DISNEYLAND for the first time!
And this is what it looks like from a child's perspective...
And this is what it looks like from a child's perspective...
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
MERRY. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! (Dec '06)
It's a good thing… to see CHRIST back in Christmas! It really truly is. It makes me supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly happy to see on TV commercials that stores like Wal-Mart, Target, etc have passed over the politically correct propulsion to say "Happy Holidays" in place of "Merry Christmas". To my joy Target added the words "Merry Christmas" to their TV commercial – and the other day and I just about fell over! We have one of those fancy digital video recorders and I practically jumped out of my chair and yelled at my husband to Rewind the commercial so I could make sure I truly did see the words "MERRY CHRISTMAS" across the bottom of the TV screen. We pressed Pause at the right moment and sat there… just a bit stunned.
Welcome Christ – you've been welcomed back into the Holiday season! And once again I will still heartily say to retail clerks and Starbucks baristas "MERRY CHRISTMAS" … and wait for their response. Nine times out of ten this is what happens next – they take a quick peripheral-vision inventory of where their manager is and then say semi-quietly "Merry Christmas" in response. That's OK – I don't expect them to say it as heartily as I did – but just to hear those words gives me hope…. that truly Christ IS welcome in this season.
Even if it's to simply tug at our hearts to remind us that Christmas isn't all about buying gifts for people and "keeping up with the Jones' " – but more importantly a season of peace and joy and hope. This season of the year, whether or not your are a person of faith, serves to remind us that our world is bigger than our hour-long round-trip commute to work. At this time of year our hearts are open a bit more… our giving nature kicks in… and inevitably we are just a bit more human… even for a day. Baby steps…
Welcome Christ – you've been welcomed back into the Holiday season! And once again I will still heartily say to retail clerks and Starbucks baristas "MERRY CHRISTMAS" … and wait for their response. Nine times out of ten this is what happens next – they take a quick peripheral-vision inventory of where their manager is and then say semi-quietly "Merry Christmas" in response. That's OK – I don't expect them to say it as heartily as I did – but just to hear those words gives me hope…. that truly Christ IS welcome in this season.
Even if it's to simply tug at our hearts to remind us that Christmas isn't all about buying gifts for people and "keeping up with the Jones' " – but more importantly a season of peace and joy and hope. This season of the year, whether or not your are a person of faith, serves to remind us that our world is bigger than our hour-long round-trip commute to work. At this time of year our hearts are open a bit more… our giving nature kicks in… and inevitably we are just a bit more human… even for a day. Baby steps…
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Raw (Nov '06)
Today I witnessed a Random Act of Kindness that woke me up - out of my pity party of a rough day.
This act was a beautiful gesture from one human to another in the quiet of someone's office... it was an act that celebrated a victory in someone's life - to help frame for this individual what the next chapter of life will hold... and it brought them both to tears. As a mere witness, it did much more than that for me...
So here's my challenge ... (and I too will be taking me up on this challenge!)
Celebrate the life and the victories of those around you - share your "crop" with those who haven't "yielded" quite enough for their own needs - tell/show someone how meaningful their influence has been in your life - focus on helping others rather than what you think you deserve - when you are feeling sorry for yourself do something nice for someone else - noticed or not... spread humanity. Spread a good, pure, loving humanity... a rawness that transcends gender, race, religion ...
This act was a beautiful gesture from one human to another in the quiet of someone's office... it was an act that celebrated a victory in someone's life - to help frame for this individual what the next chapter of life will hold... and it brought them both to tears. As a mere witness, it did much more than that for me...
So here's my challenge ... (and I too will be taking me up on this challenge!)
Celebrate the life and the victories of those around you - share your "crop" with those who haven't "yielded" quite enough for their own needs - tell/show someone how meaningful their influence has been in your life - focus on helping others rather than what you think you deserve - when you are feeling sorry for yourself do something nice for someone else - noticed or not... spread humanity. Spread a good, pure, loving humanity... a rawness that transcends gender, race, religion ...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I voted today! Did you?! (Nov '06)
No excuse is good enough in my opinion.... Get out there and vote... if you're in line by 8 pm they'll let you vote.
There was a time women weren't allowed to vote... it was elation to walk into the polling place today (to drop off my mail-in ballot which I didn't get in the mail in time) and all of the people in line were WOMEN!!! (I wish I had my camera with me!)
While I'm a believer in the theory that you can make statistics say anything you want them to say - I was blown away w/ this one today... only 30% of registered voters came out to the polls on our last voting day!!!
In some countries people put their VERY LIVES on the lines to vote... and what is 70% of this country too busy to do?! VOTE! Just do it.... no excuses!
Mail in ballots take ALL excuses away... prepare for next time. But in the meantime, grab your voter's guide and go stand in line to vote. Shoot - if you don't have a voter's guide just go get in line - I'm sure there's a voter's guide there you can use to read up on items.
It makes sense - you vote ... if you don't vote you don't deserve the right to complain about the decisions our gov't is making. Get out there... no excuses. No whiners!
Voting is not a privilege - IT'S A DUTY!
Voter Lori
There was a time women weren't allowed to vote... it was elation to walk into the polling place today (to drop off my mail-in ballot which I didn't get in the mail in time) and all of the people in line were WOMEN!!! (I wish I had my camera with me!)
While I'm a believer in the theory that you can make statistics say anything you want them to say - I was blown away w/ this one today... only 30% of registered voters came out to the polls on our last voting day!!!
In some countries people put their VERY LIVES on the lines to vote... and what is 70% of this country too busy to do?! VOTE! Just do it.... no excuses!
Mail in ballots take ALL excuses away... prepare for next time. But in the meantime, grab your voter's guide and go stand in line to vote. Shoot - if you don't have a voter's guide just go get in line - I'm sure there's a voter's guide there you can use to read up on items.
It makes sense - you vote ... if you don't vote you don't deserve the right to complain about the decisions our gov't is making. Get out there... no excuses. No whiners!
Voting is not a privilege - IT'S A DUTY!
Voter Lori
Monday, November 06, 2006
"When I first saw Heaven, I lost it!" (Nov '06)
"When I first saw Heaven, I lost it!" - Loren Haraldsen
It is my pleasure to announce that there is a new Baby Haraldsen!
Heaven Gabriella Lauren Haraldsen was born...
birthdate - November 5, 2006
time of birth - 9:18 pm (Dallas, TX time)
weighing in at 6 lbs, 8 oz.
stretching to 19 1/2 inches long...
This picture was taken by one of the Haraldsen grandparents (Gene or Janie) - who flew into Texas just in time!
Now - pardon me... I've lost it and need to compose myself.... - Auntie Lori
Friday, November 03, 2006
"Resounding Message" (Nov '06)
Was Rev. Ted Haggard caught red-handed? Are the allegations true that this well-respected pastor had hired a male prostitute, had a long-term relationship with this person and purchased drugs from him? Is this the truth? Is this a ploy? We may never know the truth on this... even though the media may press him and his religious superiors may force him to talk ... we may never know... PERIOD. At this point it's between He and his Maker.
The resounding message I take from this (even in my disappointment and wonderment that a brother in the Lord may have turned on his church and his marriage and his family) is that we will all fail... but I often wonder, how many lessons will we endure to finally learn the resounding message behind the lesson?! Apparently as many times as it takes....
No matter your faith, no matter your character, no matter your ability to undergo pressure and resist (like a fortress)... we will ALL give in to the rotten things in life that tempt the core values we've been built on.
Not one of us is better than another... we will ALL disappoint other human beings. We will ALL fall short of our glory... and the glory of our Maker.
Yet, upon reflection from a much more positive outlook, written deep down inside this lesson is resounding message #2... all we can do is try our very best to live up to the values we've been built on, to the character we've been fashioned like, and what we know deep down within our beings to be the right thing ... that which is the truth for our lives.
We will fail... but we will most likely have more successes than failures if we continue to try our hardest....
The resounding message I take from this (even in my disappointment and wonderment that a brother in the Lord may have turned on his church and his marriage and his family) is that we will all fail... but I often wonder, how many lessons will we endure to finally learn the resounding message behind the lesson?! Apparently as many times as it takes....
No matter your faith, no matter your character, no matter your ability to undergo pressure and resist (like a fortress)... we will ALL give in to the rotten things in life that tempt the core values we've been built on.
Not one of us is better than another... we will ALL disappoint other human beings. We will ALL fall short of our glory... and the glory of our Maker.
Yet, upon reflection from a much more positive outlook, written deep down inside this lesson is resounding message #2... all we can do is try our very best to live up to the values we've been built on, to the character we've been fashioned like, and what we know deep down within our beings to be the right thing ... that which is the truth for our lives.
We will fail... but we will most likely have more successes than failures if we continue to try our hardest....
Friday, October 20, 2006
my new mantra (oct '06)
Quoted in Laurence Fishburne's movie "Akeelah and The Bee"
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is out light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be?
"You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other peple won't feel insecure around you.
"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us - it's in everyone.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
- Marianne Williamson
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is out light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be?
"You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other peple won't feel insecure around you.
"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us - it's in everyone.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
- Marianne Williamson
Awakening (Oct '06)
Today is a symbolic day. It represents the day I woke up. It represents the day I came out of a cocoon. It represents the moment in time when I realized my life as I knew it was in fact no longer. And NOW, I had the chance to create a whole new life for myself!
Eleven years ago today I went home after work to find that my husband of 1 1/2 years had left me. I walked in the front door of our small apartment to find the couch in the middle of the living room - with what was left of our belongings piled on top of it. No tv, no dining room table, no recliner, no coffee table - just the couch. He even took the can opener. That's so significant because when he "left for work" early that morning he kissed me goodbye and as I was still in a state of dreaminess I remember him whispering - "When I get home from work we'll go grocery shopping - the only food left in the house is canned."
The problem was he knew he wouldn't be coming home. In fact, his brothers knew he wouldn't be coming home. His family had planned ahead of time to take this day off of work so they could help him move out while I was at work. And from here on out I will spare you the rest of the messy details...
What stands out about this day is that Lori could now be herself again! When I fell in love with this man I fell hard. And I was willing to sacrifice a lot of myself and who I was just to be with him. In fact, I had lost who I was in the process.
So, as I drove to my parents' house later that evening a bittersweet realization came over my entire being. I could now, finally, go back to the old Lori. This crazy, you-never-know-what-to-expect, trouble-makin' girl had a mind of her own ... and within that mind was housed big dreams!
It happened on a Friday afternoon... and this year's anniversary of what I affectionately call my "Freedom Day" is a Friday as well. This day will long be remembered as my day of re-birth. Friday October 20th. About 2 pm.... I realized my life had once again begun.
Here was my chance to emerge ... but not necessary "like new". I was well aware of my "scrapes and bruises", and at the same time I was nearly proud of them. If I were given the chance to change anything about my past, including those 2 years of my life I wouldn't change a single decision ... because of those events I emerged a stronger, wiser, less naive, and yet gentler woman.
Today I stand proud of myself - proud of how I conducted myself through both the marriage and the divorce. I'm proud to say I gave that marriage everything I knew to give. I gave all I could and did everything I knew to do to keep it together. I walked out of that half-empty apartment knowing I hadn't given up with any "ifs" running through my head. And still, I'm proud of who I've become in the wake of some pretty harsh emotional abuse and the ultimate abandonment. I'm proud of me.
I'm awake.
Nothing could be better....
Eleven years ago today I went home after work to find that my husband of 1 1/2 years had left me. I walked in the front door of our small apartment to find the couch in the middle of the living room - with what was left of our belongings piled on top of it. No tv, no dining room table, no recliner, no coffee table - just the couch. He even took the can opener. That's so significant because when he "left for work" early that morning he kissed me goodbye and as I was still in a state of dreaminess I remember him whispering - "When I get home from work we'll go grocery shopping - the only food left in the house is canned."
The problem was he knew he wouldn't be coming home. In fact, his brothers knew he wouldn't be coming home. His family had planned ahead of time to take this day off of work so they could help him move out while I was at work. And from here on out I will spare you the rest of the messy details...
What stands out about this day is that Lori could now be herself again! When I fell in love with this man I fell hard. And I was willing to sacrifice a lot of myself and who I was just to be with him. In fact, I had lost who I was in the process.
So, as I drove to my parents' house later that evening a bittersweet realization came over my entire being. I could now, finally, go back to the old Lori. This crazy, you-never-know-what-to-expect, trouble-makin' girl had a mind of her own ... and within that mind was housed big dreams!
It happened on a Friday afternoon... and this year's anniversary of what I affectionately call my "Freedom Day" is a Friday as well. This day will long be remembered as my day of re-birth. Friday October 20th. About 2 pm.... I realized my life had once again begun.
Here was my chance to emerge ... but not necessary "like new". I was well aware of my "scrapes and bruises", and at the same time I was nearly proud of them. If I were given the chance to change anything about my past, including those 2 years of my life I wouldn't change a single decision ... because of those events I emerged a stronger, wiser, less naive, and yet gentler woman.
Today I stand proud of myself - proud of how I conducted myself through both the marriage and the divorce. I'm proud to say I gave that marriage everything I knew to give. I gave all I could and did everything I knew to do to keep it together. I walked out of that half-empty apartment knowing I hadn't given up with any "ifs" running through my head. And still, I'm proud of who I've become in the wake of some pretty harsh emotional abuse and the ultimate abandonment. I'm proud of me.
I'm awake.
Nothing could be better....
Friday, September 29, 2006
Wasps and car accidents (Sept '06)
No, not W.A.S.P.s... but wasps. The ones that everyone is scared of (ok - I guess some people could be scared of W.A.S.P.s too... but I digress). I'm not too happy with them this morning. Specifically the bright orange one that jumped right out and got me this morning! I went after my attacker and killed him... which made me feel better.
But it's been well over two hours now... and this thing is starting to itch!
I'm not at all happy this morning... not to mention my usual 20 minute commute turned into a 1 hour and 20 minute commute due to an accident on the freeway.
So for those of you afraid that I got in a car accident after the wasp attacked... glad you stopped in for a read this morning...
OK - on to bigger and better...
Friday, September 22, 2006
This time - the rumors may ring true!
I just read an article in the San Diego Union Tribune that sets the record straight! Eric Clapton HAS been seen out and about in Escondido several times in the past 12 months! We heard through a waiter at IHOP that he stopped in one night for dinner - yeah right! We even asked each other - "What's in Escondido that Eric Clapton would like to see?!"
Then my chiropractor shared a rumor he had heard - that Eric Clapton sent a thank you note to one of the schwanky restaurants on Grand Ave thanking them for the wonderful service and a chance to blend in to the crowd! And again, I thought to myself "Whatever, Eric Clapton wouldn't take the time to write a thank you note!"
But this article proves me wrong.... at least the part about him being in Escondido. Whether or not he wrote a thank you note - I may never know.
Link to article: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/northcounty/20060922-9999-6m22esco.html
Mr. Clapton - if you ever read this, THANK YOU! Just knowing you visited our city, and then named an album after it... wow! You must think highly of the city I've called home for over 2 decades now! Hope you feel comfortable enough to return someday! Please know... you're always welcome to blend in...
Then my chiropractor shared a rumor he had heard - that Eric Clapton sent a thank you note to one of the schwanky restaurants on Grand Ave thanking them for the wonderful service and a chance to blend in to the crowd! And again, I thought to myself "Whatever, Eric Clapton wouldn't take the time to write a thank you note!"
But this article proves me wrong.... at least the part about him being in Escondido. Whether or not he wrote a thank you note - I may never know.
Link to article: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/northcounty/20060922-9999-6m22esco.html
Mr. Clapton - if you ever read this, THANK YOU! Just knowing you visited our city, and then named an album after it... wow! You must think highly of the city I've called home for over 2 decades now! Hope you feel comfortable enough to return someday! Please know... you're always welcome to blend in...
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Racist 'Survivor"? (Sept '06)
What's the big deal?! They've pitted all sorts of "tribes" against each other from the beginning. So as they head into this season they have to find something new and fresh! What?! They are going to pit race against race?!
Big deal... from where I sit, it looks like they're stating the obvious.
Most people stereotype without even realizing it. So, I sarcastically ask, CBS decides to state the obvious while creating some more drama to appeal to an even broader crowd and we're SURPRISED by this?!
Think about it though... as some of these "tribe" members are eliminated they'll have to make new alliances. Then they will pair up a mexican with an asian, or black with white... and think of all the extra drama that will create being that they used to be enemies?! It's ripe for the Fall lineup... and for the Fall drama... why are we surprised?!
Big deal... from where I sit, it looks like they're stating the obvious.
Most people stereotype without even realizing it. So, I sarcastically ask, CBS decides to state the obvious while creating some more drama to appeal to an even broader crowd and we're SURPRISED by this?!
Think about it though... as some of these "tribe" members are eliminated they'll have to make new alliances. Then they will pair up a mexican with an asian, or black with white... and think of all the extra drama that will create being that they used to be enemies?! It's ripe for the Fall lineup... and for the Fall drama... why are we surprised?!
Monday, September 04, 2006
Baby Brooklyne (Sept '06)
Another baby has entered our world! My cousin Sarah Marshek-Aldous has brought the first Marshek grandbaby into this world! And she's got those pudgy Marshek cheeks! Yet, Brooklyne looks just like her Dad Jason! What a joy it was to wait out the labor w/ the rest of the Paul Marshek family ... seriously, whenever we're together there's bound to be laughter. Even in the hospital!
Brooklyne arrived after over 24 hours of labor - and on Labor Day weekend! And even better, Brooklyne and Paul now share the same birthday weekend!
Brooklyne set some records too... She is Paul and Cheryl's first grandbaby! And Grampa Marshek's first great grandbaby! And the only baby known to mankind to have such a plethora of loving and laughing aunts, uncles, great aunts/uncles, second cousins, and grandparents!
Therefore, I'd like to introduce for the very first time...
Brooklyne Lynn Aldous
Born 9-1-06 at 10:30 pm
Weighing in at 6 lbs, 6 oz
Stretching to 19 inches long
Welcome to our world...
Thursday, August 31, 2006
As you journey (Aug '06)
I wanted to share this poem. It was on a birthday card which I've kept for years... I don't know who wrote it, but I'd like to meet them someday.
"As you journey through life, choose your destinations well, but do not hurry there. You will arrive soon enough. Wander the back roads and forgotten paths, keeping your destination in your heart like the fixed point of a compass. Seek out new voices, strange sights, and ideas foreign to your own. Such things are riches for the soul. And if, upon arrival, you find that your destination is not exactly as you had dreamed, do not be disappointed. Think of all you would have missed but for the journey there, and know that the true worth of your travels lies not in where you come to be at journey's end, but in who you came to be along the way." - anonymous
"As you journey through life, choose your destinations well, but do not hurry there. You will arrive soon enough. Wander the back roads and forgotten paths, keeping your destination in your heart like the fixed point of a compass. Seek out new voices, strange sights, and ideas foreign to your own. Such things are riches for the soul. And if, upon arrival, you find that your destination is not exactly as you had dreamed, do not be disappointed. Think of all you would have missed but for the journey there, and know that the true worth of your travels lies not in where you come to be at journey's end, but in who you came to be along the way." - anonymous
Friday, August 25, 2006
I witnessed 2 miracles in 2 days! (Aug '06)
The entry just below this one talks briefly about the miracle birth of baby Kevin (which I was witness to)... and the 2nd miracle in just as many days was my great friend Julia Alter - getting married!!!
That's right folks... for those of you who are feeling the need to do so, I recommend we take a moment of silence for the past single life of Julia Alter's. Because it's history!
Julia found her treasure trove ... in Michael Canvin! Not that Julia won't do this but I have to tell the whole world that she found a GEM in this man! He cherishes her, is enthralled by her words, nourishes her creativity, and most importantly loves her in the same profound manner in which she loves him... with every last morsel in her!
I was witness, photographer, crying fool, and proud friend of my Julia yesterday. What an honor to be a part of this day...
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The wonders of a newborn baby! (Aug '06)
As I have done for a few of my girlfriends, I went to the hospital with my friend Becki yesterday for the delivery of her 1st baby boy! (They have 2 girls already - 7 yrs and 3 yrs.) And while I've been through the delivery of four babies so far, it's just so amazing to watch the miracle of birth unfold! All of the emotions (fear, excitement, pain, gratefulness, anticipation) colliding in 1 little moment!
While I'm not yet a mother, I can't yet KNOW what those feelings are and how they take over your being... but as a photographer, I feel that I live just a little bit of someone else's life when I'm taking in their world as it is happening.
May I introduce the beautiful young man brought into the world yesterday... Today I am so proud to be Auntie Lori! And thrilled beyond belief... I cannot imagine how his parents are feeling today.
Kevin Lee McAdow was born 8/23/06 at 10:50 am. Weighing in at 8 lbs, 6 oz... and stretching out to 19 inches.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
For Once... (Aug '06)
For once... someone in Hollywood accepts responsibilities for his actions! Thank you, Mel Gibson, for pleading "no contest" regarding the charges against you when arrested while speeding, and all the while very much intoxicated.
Mel - you're receiving loads and loads of flack from your associates (some of them being so-called 'friends'), but I for one am proud to say that you and I are are only human. And to step up and take accept responsibility for our own actions is human. Thanks for not being like Britney Spears and blaming it on the paparazzi! Thanks for being straight up from the beginning and simply apologizing for some very bad decisions.
The rest of Hollywood, and the rest of humanity, could learn something you - from both the bad decisions and the good. Hats off to you, Mr. Gibson!
Mel - you're receiving loads and loads of flack from your associates (some of them being so-called 'friends'), but I for one am proud to say that you and I are are only human. And to step up and take accept responsibility for our own actions is human. Thanks for not being like Britney Spears and blaming it on the paparazzi! Thanks for being straight up from the beginning and simply apologizing for some very bad decisions.
The rest of Hollywood, and the rest of humanity, could learn something you - from both the bad decisions and the good. Hats off to you, Mr. Gibson!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
'A Nation of Wimps'... an MSN article (Aug '06)
http://health.msn.com/pregnancykids/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100142037>1=8404
If you have children or not, we can all learn from what psychologists are saying about the dangers of overprotecting our nation's children. Not just your own children... but society as a whole. The link above will take you to a semi-lengthy article... but in my opinion, well worth the read! Well worth some time to think about how society could be creating a 'Nation of Wimps'!
While my husband and I don't have any children, we have learned gazillions of lessons from friends with children. We soak up the good and the bad when it comes to discipline styles, how parents react to problems with their children (self-induced or not), and then farther on down the road to hear what they would do differently.
How many mothers would take parenting advice from a woman without children?! Not many. And that's OK. If I were a mom I wouldn't take advice from me either. However, there may be something to that piece of wisdom that infers those farther away from the problem might see better solutions than those people in the middle of the problem.
But psychologists are now announcing what I've been theorizing for a long time: the over-protective and hyper-concerned parent can do more damage to their kids than they realize. By cushioning all of the play grounds and taking away tether ball from the play grounds (because someone could get a concussion from that flying ball) we are taking away their chances to learn to cope, to deal with anxiety, to learn some tough lessons in life, to push on through adversity, to be strong in the midst of fear, ... I could go on. Instead they come running to mommy and daddy to solve all of their problems... because that's how they've learned to handle conflict.
What long term message are we sending our children about resolving conflict if we run to their defense all the time? That they aren't quite capable of resolving it themselves? What message are we sending them when we jump from our chairs to catch them upon their stumble? That they aren't capable of handling any pain in their lives and that they should eliminate all risk from their lives?
For more thoughts on this topic see entry below entitled "Was I born in the wrong century?!" (Mar '06)
If you have children or not, we can all learn from what psychologists are saying about the dangers of overprotecting our nation's children. Not just your own children... but society as a whole. The link above will take you to a semi-lengthy article... but in my opinion, well worth the read! Well worth some time to think about how society could be creating a 'Nation of Wimps'!
While my husband and I don't have any children, we have learned gazillions of lessons from friends with children. We soak up the good and the bad when it comes to discipline styles, how parents react to problems with their children (self-induced or not), and then farther on down the road to hear what they would do differently.
How many mothers would take parenting advice from a woman without children?! Not many. And that's OK. If I were a mom I wouldn't take advice from me either. However, there may be something to that piece of wisdom that infers those farther away from the problem might see better solutions than those people in the middle of the problem.
But psychologists are now announcing what I've been theorizing for a long time: the over-protective and hyper-concerned parent can do more damage to their kids than they realize. By cushioning all of the play grounds and taking away tether ball from the play grounds (because someone could get a concussion from that flying ball) we are taking away their chances to learn to cope, to deal with anxiety, to learn some tough lessons in life, to push on through adversity, to be strong in the midst of fear, ... I could go on. Instead they come running to mommy and daddy to solve all of their problems... because that's how they've learned to handle conflict.
What long term message are we sending our children about resolving conflict if we run to their defense all the time? That they aren't quite capable of resolving it themselves? What message are we sending them when we jump from our chairs to catch them upon their stumble? That they aren't capable of handling any pain in their lives and that they should eliminate all risk from their lives?
For more thoughts on this topic see entry below entitled "Was I born in the wrong century?!" (Mar '06)
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
In Love with Old Escondido (May '06)
I affectionately call it "The 'Hood". It's Old Escondido. Its charm and warmth and curiosities are plenty.
And I got quite the treat on Mother's Day. I volunteered to be the resident photographer for an annual event that draws gawkers from near and far. 2006 was the 9th Annual Mother's Day Home Tour - where 5 precious homes were featured. The house pictured to the right is known as the "Beach House", built in 1896.
It's one of the reasons I chose to live in Old Escondido. Over 10 years ago I worked at a financial planning office in The 'Hood ... and at lunch I'd walk the streets dreaming about living in many of the homes. However, my time at that job came to an end and I didn't get to spend as much time dreaming of simpler times. Until I finally stumbled upon the opportunity to find my own home - I knew what neighborhood I wanted to buy in at least (if at all possible). And I did.... (no, it's not the Beach House - but I love my humble home the same)... first chance I got - I bought!
This weekend I got the chance to walk into various scenes in history... this Queen Anne Victorian built in 1896, a Mediterranean Style bungalow (1926), a Dutch Colonial (1925) and two other homes built near the turn of the century which exude simplicity, an easier life, a time of quieter evenings with the family... and I got to capture 2006's version of what those homes look like! Just for a moment... just a speck on the long timeline we know as eternity...
As a photographer (and a lover of history) - this is one of the highest honors. To preserve history and to show today's developments as well. While life shows us that we are a product of our past, today shows us our possibilities!
I can't wait to see more...
Friday, April 28, 2006
"Illegal" is the point... (April '06)
For the past 20+ years I've lived in north San Diego county. About a 40 minute drive from the Mexico-US border... and surrounded by more mexican food drive-thrus within a 10 mile radius than Starbucks! I could NOT survive without mexican food (or espresso). I would be much less of a person without the influence of my mexican friends. I would be a very boring person if I were not surrounded by so much culture. My first job (over 15 yrs ago) was in a mexican restaurant in my hometown of San Marcos, California. While the owner and I didn't work very well together, we still frequent their establishment and give them regular business for our annual "Gringo de Mayo" fiesta. You see, at heart I'm an international cosmopolitan! I've travelled to a dozen different countries (and have at least a dozen more on the waiting list)... I'm an international business student... I love learning of the cultures and history of all!
But believe me, my life in San Diego has also been doused with a number of graffiti taggers in the 'hood... and I've got some stories of other law abusing immigrants (ie. me chasing down a pair of caballeros attempting to leave the scene of a car accident, sexual harrassment directed towards me in the workplace, a man strangling his girlfriend in a car on the side of the road, a man running through my piece of property with a machete in his hand while helicopters flew overhead in search of him ... I could go on). My point in this? This would happen anywhere...
But again.... I would be a much different person (much LESS of a person) if it weren't for the cultural forces surrounding me. While I firmly believe that this country was built by immigrants FOR immigrants, I have a problem with the "illegal" part. Currently our nation is in the middle of an immigration crisis. And due to the geography in north San Diego county a lot of mexican families are affected by this. But I'll state my opinion plainly - I have a problem with immigrants attempting to tell us that all people in the U.S. deserve to stay here whether they are here legally or not.
Please, I welcome you. Come be a part of our society - but please respect this land by being upstanding, law-abiding citizens who pay taxes with the rest of us...
While I don' t think the U.S. Gov't has done everything they could possibly do to keep illegal immigrants from crossing our borders - I do believe that we are all responsible for ourselves and our futures. And while I don't know what will happen to our economy with the May 1st "All American Boycott" - I DO know this: those participating in the boycott will be drawing a line as to who is educated and who is uneducated. This proposed bill is to keep out ILLEGAL immigrants of all descents... to provide additional border protection... to keep the terrorists out. It's not directed at the mexicans on the whole... it's not directed towards those families that wish to improve their standards of living! My own descendants came here from Norway and Germany... like so many of our families, our roots are of immigrants.
What can we learn through all of this? We can be more accepting of our differences... and we can do away with even more or our negative stereotypes ... let's learn to embrace diversity...
But believe me, my life in San Diego has also been doused with a number of graffiti taggers in the 'hood... and I've got some stories of other law abusing immigrants (ie. me chasing down a pair of caballeros attempting to leave the scene of a car accident, sexual harrassment directed towards me in the workplace, a man strangling his girlfriend in a car on the side of the road, a man running through my piece of property with a machete in his hand while helicopters flew overhead in search of him ... I could go on). My point in this? This would happen anywhere...
But again.... I would be a much different person (much LESS of a person) if it weren't for the cultural forces surrounding me. While I firmly believe that this country was built by immigrants FOR immigrants, I have a problem with the "illegal" part. Currently our nation is in the middle of an immigration crisis. And due to the geography in north San Diego county a lot of mexican families are affected by this. But I'll state my opinion plainly - I have a problem with immigrants attempting to tell us that all people in the U.S. deserve to stay here whether they are here legally or not.
Please, I welcome you. Come be a part of our society - but please respect this land by being upstanding, law-abiding citizens who pay taxes with the rest of us...
While I don' t think the U.S. Gov't has done everything they could possibly do to keep illegal immigrants from crossing our borders - I do believe that we are all responsible for ourselves and our futures. And while I don't know what will happen to our economy with the May 1st "All American Boycott" - I DO know this: those participating in the boycott will be drawing a line as to who is educated and who is uneducated. This proposed bill is to keep out ILLEGAL immigrants of all descents... to provide additional border protection... to keep the terrorists out. It's not directed at the mexicans on the whole... it's not directed towards those families that wish to improve their standards of living! My own descendants came here from Norway and Germany... like so many of our families, our roots are of immigrants.
What can we learn through all of this? We can be more accepting of our differences... and we can do away with even more or our negative stereotypes ... let's learn to embrace diversity...
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Expectations (April '06)
I don’t usually make “New Year’s Resolutions”… and in fact my 2006 started with the mantra of “This is MY year”. I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel for some long-term financial goals. I was starting to see some of the pieces fit together in my journey for “my life with less drama - starring Lori” (including less reality tv). I was starting to truly feel grounded in what I knew I wanted to do in my future. (Yes, I’m married… I own my own home… I’ve been working at the same “day job” for 9 years… and I don’t really have a heck of a lot to complain about.) I am starting to feel that conflict is leaving my world… and the peace is settling.
Maybe this is par for the course? Maybe I’m just “growing up” a bit more? Maybe I truly feel what I’ve been saying for so long … that I like who I am, flaws and all. Maybe I’m ready to admit the things about myself I don’t like – and learn to simply deal with it. I don’t really know.
To steal a term from a well-known daytime talk show host “One thing I know…” is that this year - I’m taking care of me. I’m making decisions for me. I’m learning to put my goals and plans and dreams more toward to the top of the “to do list” … save for the grace of Christ and His intervening in my world… I’m living for me rather than those in this world who have expectations on me.
Maybe this is par for the course? Maybe I’m just “growing up” a bit more? Maybe I truly feel what I’ve been saying for so long … that I like who I am, flaws and all. Maybe I’m ready to admit the things about myself I don’t like – and learn to simply deal with it. I don’t really know.
To steal a term from a well-known daytime talk show host “One thing I know…” is that this year - I’m taking care of me. I’m making decisions for me. I’m learning to put my goals and plans and dreams more toward to the top of the “to do list” … save for the grace of Christ and His intervening in my world… I’m living for me rather than those in this world who have expectations on me.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Security is mostly a superstition... (April '06)
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Was I born in the wrong century?!
As of late I've been pondering the thoughts of 'Risk vs Reward'. Asking myself "Should we focus on eliminating all risk from our lives – thereby protecting us from every possibility of error or danger?" OR "Should we enjoy living our lives knowing that if we lived solely in fear then we wouldn't really be living?" OR "Is there such a thing as finding a sensible balance by calculating the risks in our world?"
I think I was born in the wrong century… In the early 1900's children walked home from school – sometimes several miles in each direction. Shucks – even in the 1980's when I was in grade school I was walking or biking home from school by myself – and one day I didn't go home like I was supposed to (and I got in trouble for it). But these days parents are considered to be endangering the lives of their children if they are asked to walk home from school. And don't even think about leaving your children alone at home – that's 'neglect' (even if they ARE 12 years old)! And don't leave them in the car at the convenience store parking lot if you run in for a bag of ice – that's endangerment AND neglect. But really – I'm now 32 years of age and I and my brother and our friends (and probably most of my readers as well) have survived that type of "mistreatment".
Please don't think I'm being cold-hearted and obtuse with my words and emotions here. My heart goes out to every single child and family member who has ever had any horrible event ever happen to them. But I ask out of a bit of dismay and a bit of concern for where this train of thought of living in a protective bubble could lead us - when did our views change? Was it when a misguided child wandered off somewhere or with someone he/she wasn't supposed to? Was it when one very unfortunate and obviously distracted father parked the car at the 'park-n-ride' and left his sleeping baby boy in the back seat on a hot day? Was it when a child with a peanut butter allergy ate something he very well knew he shouldn't have? Some may propose it was the events that transpired on 9/11 that led us to this protective frame of mind...
But I ask – how much can we protect ourselves and our own family from what I view as "the inevitable"? In my humble opinion, our days our numbered. And in my opinion, when it's "our time" it's just that – it's our time. So do we look around each corner and fear and wonder and focus on what could possibly go wrong before stepping out? Or – since we only have so much time - do we go after our dreams and ambitions and live in hope with what opportunities and gifts HAVE been given to us? My point: There is a definite balance between living in fear and LIVING.
Do we teach our children that it's better to be safe than sorry? To limit their creativity and imaginations by putting them in a box and keeping them from spreading their wings and … I could go on. Or do we INSTILL creativity and the desire to learn and achieve – and teach our children, and instill in our SOCIETY, the meaning of adventure and excitement for the unknown? Even if it means tackling our innner fears and becoming better people for it?
At what point do our careful ways (with what I even wouldn't hesitate to call "truly good intentions") become superfluous?! Do we decide not to go outside anymore because of what germs we may catch?! Is this the Cold War of the '50s and '60s in a different form? Should we start dusting off the furniture in our basements – are we moving back downstairs soon?! What happens when our children play in that mud puddle in the backyard when we aren't watching?! Now I may be getting a little ridiculous here – but what happens when they want a driver's license when they are 16 years old? At what point is it just too dangerous for us to let them live their lives?!
One example: Today CNN.com is relaying a story out of Rhode Island (WLNE) about a man and his best friend (German Shepherd named Shultz) playing catch when things all of a sudden went horribly wrong. The 9 ½ " long stick got lodged in the side of the dog. The dog's owner says he will never play fetch with his dog again… really? Is this what this is coming to?! Is someone going to propose that we can no longer play fetch with our dogs – or PETA will come after us for endangering our dogs' lives?! Really?!
Admittedly, I know Shultz and his owner are an extreme example… but I must admit, I think a lot of what our society is already doing on a daily basis is a bit extreme!!! But because of the slow evolution of it all, it doesn't seem extreme to us. And when did we decide our children didn't have to be held responsible for their actions anymore? Because if we spanked them or used the word "no" with them or made them take a time out or apologize to someone they wronged then it might quelch their 'sense of self' or be considered 'mistreatment'. Really?!
(This leads me into what could be a blog topic of it's own – If we don't believe in teaching our children the importance of being responsible for their own actions - and being CONSISTENT in this - then how can we expect them to respect authority - and others at all for that matter - how can we teach them to live with a purpose and to be grateful for what is before them? Compare that to most of our 21st century, poorly-adjusted, selfishly demanding, and out of control screamers and whiners and tantrum-throwers cutting in line in front of people or imposing their own way – and feeling entitled to it all along?! Granted – I know some of you will wonder why I have the gall to say some parents aren't doing right by their children's future because I've never raised my own children. But I've been a responsible child and somehow I survived it - and I've been a significantly contributing adult in the lives of children not my own - and I've seen some well-grounded and well-adjusted parents (who were also once children) make some smart long-term decisions in regards to how they raise their children – and I've seen the outcome of their decisions – and in my opinion, something today and in the near future is going very wrong.)
Now – can I go back in time and live with the Ingalls' family in the little house, you know, the one on the prairie? Where the kids played in the dirt, played with all sorts of crazy bugs and spiders, walked home from school, were solely responsible for some of the household chores and if they didn't get done then dinner had to wait, and got up early in the morning to help dad out back - even on the weekends, got sick or hurt from time to time - and learned to deal with it, and saved their own money instead of it just being given to them when they asked for it, and being punished when it was warranted. Wait - this sounds a tad familiar. It sounds like how my parents raised me. Call me 'old-fashioned', but I think I would have liked it back then… save for the fact that I wouldn't have access to the internet where I could blog all my inner ponderings…
I think I was born in the wrong century… In the early 1900's children walked home from school – sometimes several miles in each direction. Shucks – even in the 1980's when I was in grade school I was walking or biking home from school by myself – and one day I didn't go home like I was supposed to (and I got in trouble for it). But these days parents are considered to be endangering the lives of their children if they are asked to walk home from school. And don't even think about leaving your children alone at home – that's 'neglect' (even if they ARE 12 years old)! And don't leave them in the car at the convenience store parking lot if you run in for a bag of ice – that's endangerment AND neglect. But really – I'm now 32 years of age and I and my brother and our friends (and probably most of my readers as well) have survived that type of "mistreatment".
Please don't think I'm being cold-hearted and obtuse with my words and emotions here. My heart goes out to every single child and family member who has ever had any horrible event ever happen to them. But I ask out of a bit of dismay and a bit of concern for where this train of thought of living in a protective bubble could lead us - when did our views change? Was it when a misguided child wandered off somewhere or with someone he/she wasn't supposed to? Was it when one very unfortunate and obviously distracted father parked the car at the 'park-n-ride' and left his sleeping baby boy in the back seat on a hot day? Was it when a child with a peanut butter allergy ate something he very well knew he shouldn't have? Some may propose it was the events that transpired on 9/11 that led us to this protective frame of mind...
But I ask – how much can we protect ourselves and our own family from what I view as "the inevitable"? In my humble opinion, our days our numbered. And in my opinion, when it's "our time" it's just that – it's our time. So do we look around each corner and fear and wonder and focus on what could possibly go wrong before stepping out? Or – since we only have so much time - do we go after our dreams and ambitions and live in hope with what opportunities and gifts HAVE been given to us? My point: There is a definite balance between living in fear and LIVING.
Do we teach our children that it's better to be safe than sorry? To limit their creativity and imaginations by putting them in a box and keeping them from spreading their wings and … I could go on. Or do we INSTILL creativity and the desire to learn and achieve – and teach our children, and instill in our SOCIETY, the meaning of adventure and excitement for the unknown? Even if it means tackling our innner fears and becoming better people for it?
At what point do our careful ways (with what I even wouldn't hesitate to call "truly good intentions") become superfluous?! Do we decide not to go outside anymore because of what germs we may catch?! Is this the Cold War of the '50s and '60s in a different form? Should we start dusting off the furniture in our basements – are we moving back downstairs soon?! What happens when our children play in that mud puddle in the backyard when we aren't watching?! Now I may be getting a little ridiculous here – but what happens when they want a driver's license when they are 16 years old? At what point is it just too dangerous for us to let them live their lives?!
One example: Today CNN.com is relaying a story out of Rhode Island (WLNE) about a man and his best friend (German Shepherd named Shultz) playing catch when things all of a sudden went horribly wrong. The 9 ½ " long stick got lodged in the side of the dog. The dog's owner says he will never play fetch with his dog again… really? Is this what this is coming to?! Is someone going to propose that we can no longer play fetch with our dogs – or PETA will come after us for endangering our dogs' lives?! Really?!
Admittedly, I know Shultz and his owner are an extreme example… but I must admit, I think a lot of what our society is already doing on a daily basis is a bit extreme!!! But because of the slow evolution of it all, it doesn't seem extreme to us. And when did we decide our children didn't have to be held responsible for their actions anymore? Because if we spanked them or used the word "no" with them or made them take a time out or apologize to someone they wronged then it might quelch their 'sense of self' or be considered 'mistreatment'. Really?!
(This leads me into what could be a blog topic of it's own – If we don't believe in teaching our children the importance of being responsible for their own actions - and being CONSISTENT in this - then how can we expect them to respect authority - and others at all for that matter - how can we teach them to live with a purpose and to be grateful for what is before them? Compare that to most of our 21st century, poorly-adjusted, selfishly demanding, and out of control screamers and whiners and tantrum-throwers cutting in line in front of people or imposing their own way – and feeling entitled to it all along?! Granted – I know some of you will wonder why I have the gall to say some parents aren't doing right by their children's future because I've never raised my own children. But I've been a responsible child and somehow I survived it - and I've been a significantly contributing adult in the lives of children not my own - and I've seen some well-grounded and well-adjusted parents (who were also once children) make some smart long-term decisions in regards to how they raise their children – and I've seen the outcome of their decisions – and in my opinion, something today and in the near future is going very wrong.)
Now – can I go back in time and live with the Ingalls' family in the little house, you know, the one on the prairie? Where the kids played in the dirt, played with all sorts of crazy bugs and spiders, walked home from school, were solely responsible for some of the household chores and if they didn't get done then dinner had to wait, and got up early in the morning to help dad out back - even on the weekends, got sick or hurt from time to time - and learned to deal with it, and saved their own money instead of it just being given to them when they asked for it, and being punished when it was warranted. Wait - this sounds a tad familiar. It sounds like how my parents raised me. Call me 'old-fashioned', but I think I would have liked it back then… save for the fact that I wouldn't have access to the internet where I could blog all my inner ponderings…
Was I born in the wrong century? (Mar '06)
As of late I’ve been pondering the thoughts of 'Risk vs Reward'. Asking myself “Should we focus on eliminating all risk from our lives – thereby protecting us from every possibility of error or danger?” OR “Should we enjoy living our lives knowing that if we lived solely in fear then we wouldn’t really be living?” OR "Is there such a thing as finding a sensible balance by calculating the risks in our world?"
I think I was born in the wrong century… In the early 1900’s children walked home from school – sometimes several miles in each direction. Shucks – even in the 1980’s when I was in grade school I was walking or biking home from school by myself – and one day I didn't go home like I was supposed to (and I got in trouble for it). But these days parents are considered to be endangering the lives of their children if they are asked to walk home from school. And don’t even think about leaving your children alone at home – that’s 'neglect' (even if they ARE 12 years old)! And don’t leave them in the car at the convenience store parking lot if you run in for a bag of ice – that’s endangerment AND neglect. But really – I’m now 32 years of age and I and my brother and our friends (and probably most of my readers as well) have survived that type of “mistreatment”.
Please don’t think I’m being cold-hearted and obtuse with my words and emotions here. My heart goes out to every single child and family member who has ever had any horrible event ever happen to them. But I ask out of a bit of dismay and a bit of concern for where this train of thought of living in a protective bubble could lead us - when did our views change? Was it when a misguided child wandered off somewhere or with someone he/she wasn’t supposed to? Was it when one very unfortunate and obviously distracted father parked the car at the ‘park-n-ride’ and left his sleeping baby boy in the back seat on a hot day? Was it when a child with a peanut butter allergy ate something he very well knew he shouldn’t have? Some may propose it was the events that transpired on 9/11 that led us to this protective frame of mind...
But I ask – how much can we protect ourselves and our own family from what I view as “the inevitable”? In my humble opinion, our days our numbered. And in my opinion, when it’s “our time” it’s just that – it’s our time. So do we look around each corner and fear and wonder and focus on what could possibly go wrong before stepping out? Or – since we only have so much time - do we go after our dreams and ambitions and live in hope with what opportunities and gifts HAVE been given to us? My point: There is a definite balance between living in fear and LIVING.
Do we teach our children that it’s better to be safe than sorry? To limit their creativity and imaginations by putting them in a box and keeping them from spreading their wings and … I could go on. Or do we INSTILL creativity and the desire to learn and achieve – and teach our children, and instill in our SOCIETY, the meaning of adventure and excitement for the unknown? Even if it means tackling our innner fears and becoming better people for it?
At what point do our careful ways (with what I even wouldn’t hesitate to call “truly good intentions”) become superfluous?! Do we decide not to go outside anymore because of what germs we may catch?! Is this the Cold War of the ‘50s and ‘60s in a different form? Should we start dusting off the furniture in our basements – are we moving back downstairs soon?! What happens when our children play in that mud puddle in the backyard when we aren’t watching?! Now I may be getting a little ridiculous here – but what happens when they want a driver’s license when they are 16 years old? At what point is it just too dangerous for us to let them live their lives?!
One example: Today CNN.com is relaying a story out of Rhode Island (WLNE) about a man and his best friend (German Shepherd named Shultz) playing catch when things all of a sudden went horribly wrong. The 9 ½ “ long stick got lodged in the side of the dog. The dog’s owner says he will never play fetch with his dog again… really? Is this what this is coming to?! Is someone going to propose that we can no longer play fetch with our dogs – or PETA will come after us for endangering our dogs’ lives?! Really?!
Admittedly, I know Shultz and his owner are an extreme example… but I must admit, I think a lot of what our society is already doing on a daily basis is a bit extreme!!! But because of the slow evolution of it all, it doesn’t seem extreme to us. And when did we decide our children didn't have to be held responsible for their actions anymore? Because if we spanked them or used the word "no” with them or made them take a time out or apologize to someone they wronged then it might quelch their ‘sense of self’ or be considered ‘mistreatment’. Really?!
(This leads me into what could be a blog topic of it's own – If we don’t believe in teaching our children the importance of being responsible for their own actions - and being CONSISTENT in this - then how can we expect them to respect authority - and others at all for that matter - how can we teach them to live with a purpose and to be grateful for what is before them? Compare that to most of our 21st century, poorly-adjusted, selfishly demanding, and out of control screamers and whiners and tantrum-throwers cutting in line in front of people or imposing their own way – and feeling entitled to it all along?! Granted – I know some of you will wonder why I have the gall to say some parents aren’t doing right by their children’s future because I’ve never raised my own children. But I’ve been a responsible child and somehow I survived it - and I’ve been a significantly contributing adult in the lives of children not my own - and I’ve seen some well-grounded and well-adjusted parents (who were also once children) make some smart long-term decisions in regards to how they raise their children – and I’ve seen the outcome of their decisions – and in my opinion, something today and in the near future is going very wrong.)
Now – can I go back in time and live with the Ingalls’ family in the little house, you know, the one on the prairie? Where the kids played in the dirt, played with all sorts of crazy bugs and spiders, walked home from school, were solely responsible for some of the household chores and if they didn't get done then dinner had to wait, and got up early in the morning to help dad out back - even on the weekends, got sick or hurt from time to time - and learned to deal with it, and saved their own money instead of it just being given to them when they asked for it, and being punished when it was warranted. Wait - this sounds a tad familiar. It sounds like how my parents raised me. Call me 'old-fashioned', but I think I would have liked it back then… save for the fact that I wouldn’t have access to the internet where I could blog all my inner ponderings…
I think I was born in the wrong century… In the early 1900’s children walked home from school – sometimes several miles in each direction. Shucks – even in the 1980’s when I was in grade school I was walking or biking home from school by myself – and one day I didn't go home like I was supposed to (and I got in trouble for it). But these days parents are considered to be endangering the lives of their children if they are asked to walk home from school. And don’t even think about leaving your children alone at home – that’s 'neglect' (even if they ARE 12 years old)! And don’t leave them in the car at the convenience store parking lot if you run in for a bag of ice – that’s endangerment AND neglect. But really – I’m now 32 years of age and I and my brother and our friends (and probably most of my readers as well) have survived that type of “mistreatment”.
Please don’t think I’m being cold-hearted and obtuse with my words and emotions here. My heart goes out to every single child and family member who has ever had any horrible event ever happen to them. But I ask out of a bit of dismay and a bit of concern for where this train of thought of living in a protective bubble could lead us - when did our views change? Was it when a misguided child wandered off somewhere or with someone he/she wasn’t supposed to? Was it when one very unfortunate and obviously distracted father parked the car at the ‘park-n-ride’ and left his sleeping baby boy in the back seat on a hot day? Was it when a child with a peanut butter allergy ate something he very well knew he shouldn’t have? Some may propose it was the events that transpired on 9/11 that led us to this protective frame of mind...
But I ask – how much can we protect ourselves and our own family from what I view as “the inevitable”? In my humble opinion, our days our numbered. And in my opinion, when it’s “our time” it’s just that – it’s our time. So do we look around each corner and fear and wonder and focus on what could possibly go wrong before stepping out? Or – since we only have so much time - do we go after our dreams and ambitions and live in hope with what opportunities and gifts HAVE been given to us? My point: There is a definite balance between living in fear and LIVING.
Do we teach our children that it’s better to be safe than sorry? To limit their creativity and imaginations by putting them in a box and keeping them from spreading their wings and … I could go on. Or do we INSTILL creativity and the desire to learn and achieve – and teach our children, and instill in our SOCIETY, the meaning of adventure and excitement for the unknown? Even if it means tackling our innner fears and becoming better people for it?
At what point do our careful ways (with what I even wouldn’t hesitate to call “truly good intentions”) become superfluous?! Do we decide not to go outside anymore because of what germs we may catch?! Is this the Cold War of the ‘50s and ‘60s in a different form? Should we start dusting off the furniture in our basements – are we moving back downstairs soon?! What happens when our children play in that mud puddle in the backyard when we aren’t watching?! Now I may be getting a little ridiculous here – but what happens when they want a driver’s license when they are 16 years old? At what point is it just too dangerous for us to let them live their lives?!
One example: Today CNN.com is relaying a story out of Rhode Island (WLNE) about a man and his best friend (German Shepherd named Shultz) playing catch when things all of a sudden went horribly wrong. The 9 ½ “ long stick got lodged in the side of the dog. The dog’s owner says he will never play fetch with his dog again… really? Is this what this is coming to?! Is someone going to propose that we can no longer play fetch with our dogs – or PETA will come after us for endangering our dogs’ lives?! Really?!
Admittedly, I know Shultz and his owner are an extreme example… but I must admit, I think a lot of what our society is already doing on a daily basis is a bit extreme!!! But because of the slow evolution of it all, it doesn’t seem extreme to us. And when did we decide our children didn't have to be held responsible for their actions anymore? Because if we spanked them or used the word "no” with them or made them take a time out or apologize to someone they wronged then it might quelch their ‘sense of self’ or be considered ‘mistreatment’. Really?!
(This leads me into what could be a blog topic of it's own – If we don’t believe in teaching our children the importance of being responsible for their own actions - and being CONSISTENT in this - then how can we expect them to respect authority - and others at all for that matter - how can we teach them to live with a purpose and to be grateful for what is before them? Compare that to most of our 21st century, poorly-adjusted, selfishly demanding, and out of control screamers and whiners and tantrum-throwers cutting in line in front of people or imposing their own way – and feeling entitled to it all along?! Granted – I know some of you will wonder why I have the gall to say some parents aren’t doing right by their children’s future because I’ve never raised my own children. But I’ve been a responsible child and somehow I survived it - and I’ve been a significantly contributing adult in the lives of children not my own - and I’ve seen some well-grounded and well-adjusted parents (who were also once children) make some smart long-term decisions in regards to how they raise their children – and I’ve seen the outcome of their decisions – and in my opinion, something today and in the near future is going very wrong.)
Now – can I go back in time and live with the Ingalls’ family in the little house, you know, the one on the prairie? Where the kids played in the dirt, played with all sorts of crazy bugs and spiders, walked home from school, were solely responsible for some of the household chores and if they didn't get done then dinner had to wait, and got up early in the morning to help dad out back - even on the weekends, got sick or hurt from time to time - and learned to deal with it, and saved their own money instead of it just being given to them when they asked for it, and being punished when it was warranted. Wait - this sounds a tad familiar. It sounds like how my parents raised me. Call me 'old-fashioned', but I think I would have liked it back then… save for the fact that I wouldn’t have access to the internet where I could blog all my inner ponderings…
Friday, February 17, 2006
Ordinary people... (Feb '06)
Quite often I'm reminded of how we don't really live very ordinary lives. Instead we are ordinary people living extraordinary lives! Regularly I get a sense of restlessness - as if my mind, soul or body is telling me it's time for some change because life has become too routine... too drab... too hum drum.
For instance - twice in the past week my pilot brother has called while strolling through the Dallas-Fort Worth airport.... upon the sightings of some well known individuals. He walked into the bathroom and standing in the corner is Ted Nugent - shoveling a cookie into his mouth. And then just a few days later he saw Jesse James (from the tv show 'Monster Garage' and tattooed husband of Sandra Bullock).
And I am awed and amazed by the lives celebrities must live. And then I wake up the next morning, sometimes having to drag myself out of bed, and come to work to sit down to start the same daily routine over again. But this morning I took some extra time to soak in my surroundings.
Within arms' reach are pictures of my 'nearest and dearest' - these bring a smile to my face - and the unforgettable times flood in. Pictures from travels - from where I sit I see some exquisite sights from Amsterdam (Netherlands), Brussels (Belgium), Florence (Italy), Geneva (Switzerland), Y'voire (France), Boston MA, Portland OR and Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz and San Diego CA. And the memories from these places take over and I realize - my life really isn't so hum drum!
It dawns on me... isn't it all in how you view your world?! The objects in my pictures are everyday sights to the people living near them. But they were, and continue to be, so amazing to me - because I had just witnessed them for the first time. All of this to say - we just need to go about our days doing the best we can with what we've been given and for what we've been called to do in our daily lives - and at the same time keep our eyes open! We just never know what we're going to see!!!
"Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn one’s back on life." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Helen Keller
For instance - twice in the past week my pilot brother has called while strolling through the Dallas-Fort Worth airport.... upon the sightings of some well known individuals. He walked into the bathroom and standing in the corner is Ted Nugent - shoveling a cookie into his mouth. And then just a few days later he saw Jesse James (from the tv show 'Monster Garage' and tattooed husband of Sandra Bullock).
And I am awed and amazed by the lives celebrities must live. And then I wake up the next morning, sometimes having to drag myself out of bed, and come to work to sit down to start the same daily routine over again. But this morning I took some extra time to soak in my surroundings.
Within arms' reach are pictures of my 'nearest and dearest' - these bring a smile to my face - and the unforgettable times flood in. Pictures from travels - from where I sit I see some exquisite sights from Amsterdam (Netherlands), Brussels (Belgium), Florence (Italy), Geneva (Switzerland), Y'voire (France), Boston MA, Portland OR and Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz and San Diego CA. And the memories from these places take over and I realize - my life really isn't so hum drum!
It dawns on me... isn't it all in how you view your world?! The objects in my pictures are everyday sights to the people living near them. But they were, and continue to be, so amazing to me - because I had just witnessed them for the first time. All of this to say - we just need to go about our days doing the best we can with what we've been given and for what we've been called to do in our daily lives - and at the same time keep our eyes open! We just never know what we're going to see!!!
"Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn one’s back on life." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Helen Keller
Friday, February 10, 2006
Emotions (Feb '06)
Today is what I call a "sad day".... I don't know WHY I'm feeling blue... I just am. When my husband asks why I'm not smiling more - I don't have a specific reason. It's just one of those days where I woke up sad and I choose to stick it out through these emotions.
Maybe I won't figure out WHY I'm sad... maybe I won't have a great epiphany as to WHAT occurred that is making me feel sad... maybe I will just LIVE in these emotions and let it be... maybe I'm OK w/ the tears running down my face all the way to work... maybe it's OK for me to face the world today without a cheery smile and optimistic outlook.
Does it make me "depressed"? No... not clinically. Does it make me bitchy? No... I'm still responsible for my actions and know when not to speak or act out in anger ... most of the time. Does it make me an uncontrollable, emotional wreck? No... Does it make me a weak human being? No... I'm just living through the emotions... we all have them. So instead of "stuffing" them and pretending that everything is OK and that I've got it all together and that I've got the world on a string - I'm just going to be ME today - and let these emotions run their course.
I know laughter will return at some point today ... it's just a matter of time. I know optimism will creep back in... and the glass will be half FULL again. I know that LIVING IN MY EMOTIONS is the healthiest thing for me to do for myself today.
Carpe Diem!!!
Maybe I won't figure out WHY I'm sad... maybe I won't have a great epiphany as to WHAT occurred that is making me feel sad... maybe I will just LIVE in these emotions and let it be... maybe I'm OK w/ the tears running down my face all the way to work... maybe it's OK for me to face the world today without a cheery smile and optimistic outlook.
Does it make me "depressed"? No... not clinically. Does it make me bitchy? No... I'm still responsible for my actions and know when not to speak or act out in anger ... most of the time. Does it make me an uncontrollable, emotional wreck? No... Does it make me a weak human being? No... I'm just living through the emotions... we all have them. So instead of "stuffing" them and pretending that everything is OK and that I've got it all together and that I've got the world on a string - I'm just going to be ME today - and let these emotions run their course.
I know laughter will return at some point today ... it's just a matter of time. I know optimism will creep back in... and the glass will be half FULL again. I know that LIVING IN MY EMOTIONS is the healthiest thing for me to do for myself today.
Carpe Diem!!!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
What my heart has been singing lately... (Jan '06)
Lyrics to "I Will Not Be Broken"... as performed by Bonnie Raitt
That was then this is now - Found my way back here somehow - Knew you'd have to let me go - Told you once I told you so
Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...
Someone other than who I am - I will fight to make my stand - Cause what is livin' if I can't live free - What is freedom if I can't be me
Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...
I won't let you near it - I will let my spirit fly - Fly - High - Oh take me down
Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...
That was then this is now - Found my way back here somehow - Knew you'd have to let me go - Told you once I told you so
Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...
Someone other than who I am - I will fight to make my stand - Cause what is livin' if I can't live free - What is freedom if I can't be me
Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...
I won't let you near it - I will let my spirit fly - Fly - High - Oh take me down
Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Recuperation! (Jan '06)
Anyone who knows me (even for a short time) knows that I do not sit still very well. I am constantly running... constantly thinking about the next thing to accomplish, the next thing to get involved with, the next thing to mark off my "to do before I die" list, the next thing to volunteer for, etc. Some see me as the classic over-achiever trying to set world records for Guiness... but in all reality I just don't believe in getting rusty.
To those worried about me living a full life - you'll be relieved to know that I slowed down this week. This last week I SAT. I sat back in my pajamas and watched way too much TV and expected others' to do things for me and FULLY ENJOYED every minute of it.
Actually - I couldn't do much to change the circumstances! So I sat back and enjoyed my surroundings - I enjoyed every last "get well" card and flower bouquet and email message wishing me back on my feet.
Last Friday (Jan 20th) I had my gall bladder removed. This was my first time in surgery (I hate to break it to everyone - but having your wisdom teeth pulled isn't much of a "surgery"... not like this anyway)... and hopefully I will not have to go through too many more surgeries. All went well - and I'm recuperating speedily. And I'm feeling extremely better today than I was yesterday. And hopefully tomorrow will bring even more of an improvement.
In the meantime I will continue to make the most of the circumstances and catch up on some reading, phone calls, visits with family and friends... such is the life! Now if I can just figure out a way to keep this many fresh flower bouquets in my house at all times...
To those worried about me living a full life - you'll be relieved to know that I slowed down this week. This last week I SAT. I sat back in my pajamas and watched way too much TV and expected others' to do things for me and FULLY ENJOYED every minute of it.
Actually - I couldn't do much to change the circumstances! So I sat back and enjoyed my surroundings - I enjoyed every last "get well" card and flower bouquet and email message wishing me back on my feet.
Last Friday (Jan 20th) I had my gall bladder removed. This was my first time in surgery (I hate to break it to everyone - but having your wisdom teeth pulled isn't much of a "surgery"... not like this anyway)... and hopefully I will not have to go through too many more surgeries. All went well - and I'm recuperating speedily. And I'm feeling extremely better today than I was yesterday. And hopefully tomorrow will bring even more of an improvement.
In the meantime I will continue to make the most of the circumstances and catch up on some reading, phone calls, visits with family and friends... such is the life! Now if I can just figure out a way to keep this many fresh flower bouquets in my house at all times...
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Conflict with "The Book of Daniel" (Jan '06)
If you have not read about the conflict with the new NBC show "The Book of Daniel"... you should take a few minutes to sit back and look into it. Take just a few minutes to look at the true conflict here...
The main character is a pill-popping Episcopal priest with a gay son and a daughter selling drugs, a wife who drives away daily problems with regular martinis, and a recently widowed sister-in-law who has also just "come out of the closet". The priest has a regular visitor - Jesus. Like a cartoon character Jesus pops into the scene to confront the priest and apparently the priest is the only who seems Him. They appear to have regular chats - even cynically laughing at the way things are and making light of the ironies in the priest's life.
What's the conflict? Due to thousands of complaints about the show many affiliate stations across America have cancelled the airing of this show and replaced it with re-runs of something else. According to Yahoo! news the complaints are being submitted to NBC via phone, email, fax and some of them on church letterhead.
But my initial question is "How much more real can you get?!" When I was growing up my dad was a pastor. And while we didn't deal with THESE types of issues in our home, some of these issues were present in our home churches. I know that the reality of our home was a lot like this priest's home in the sense that we all had our own short-comings, our own set of temptations, our own "drama" - after all, NO ONE is perfect nor completely righteous.
And as the TV priest, played by Aidan Quinn, deals with problems in his family, his church and his own person he shows that the Grace of God gets Him through every day. Doesn't man - even those called to be priests and pastors and biblical teachers - all have issues of our own?! And isn't that why we believe in the Grace of God to start with?! The fact that Christ still loves us ... and that after "falling short" of others' expectations of what a Christian should be we can turn around and chat with Jesus. And while Jesus might have done it differently - Jesus is not condoning the behavior. He's showing the priest (and the tv viewers) that grace is there to comfort everyone and to show that He's not abandoning us because of our personal issues or how we react to them.
While my caution to this show would be - let's make sure they continue to do their best to be Christ-like (humble, gracious, holy even in persecution, acknowledging sin and where it stems from and how to be free of it, etc)... and in the meantime let's sit back and see just where we fall on the "holy scale"... this priest's life may not be far from our own.
In my humble opinion - this TV show may end up to be the best witness of Christ's love - ON TV!!! Do you think NBC knows what they are doing with the airing of this show?! I say "AIR IT!" If nothing else, it's getting people to question the authenticity of their own beliefs - and the depth of love Jesus has for all of us!
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Once upon a time... (Jan '06)
Below is yet another life lesson I've run across. But more importantly than running across it - to know that I've learned this as well in my own life... I needed to share this because it speaks volumes!
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Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so they all prepared their boats and left.
Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to stay with the island until it started sinking. When love was almost sinking, he decided to ask for help. Richness came by Love in a beautiful boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't ... there is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you." Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and you may damage my boat," Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so again Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." " Oh... Love, I am so sad that I prefer to go alone!" Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not listen when love called her!
Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love became so happy that he even forgot to ask the elder her name. When they arrived on the dry land, the elder went on her own way. Love asked Knowledge, another elder, the name of the elder who had helped him. "It was Time," answered Knowledge. "Time? But why did Time help me?" asked Love. "Because only time is capable of understanding how great Love is," answered Knowledge.
The moral of this story is: "Take the time to know what Real Love is". - author unknown
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Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so they all prepared their boats and left.
Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to stay with the island until it started sinking. When love was almost sinking, he decided to ask for help. Richness came by Love in a beautiful boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't ... there is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you." Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and you may damage my boat," Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so again Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." " Oh... Love, I am so sad that I prefer to go alone!" Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not listen when love called her!
Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love became so happy that he even forgot to ask the elder her name. When they arrived on the dry land, the elder went on her own way. Love asked Knowledge, another elder, the name of the elder who had helped him. "It was Time," answered Knowledge. "Time? But why did Time help me?" asked Love. "Because only time is capable of understanding how great Love is," answered Knowledge.
The moral of this story is: "Take the time to know what Real Love is". - author unknown
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