"Illegal" is the point... (April '06)

For the past 20+ years I've lived in north San Diego county. About a 40 minute drive from the Mexico-US border... and surrounded by more mexican food drive-thrus within a 10 mile radius than Starbucks! I could NOT survive without mexican food (or espresso). I would be much less of a person without the influence of my mexican friends. I would be a very boring person if I were not surrounded by so much culture. My first job (over 15 yrs ago) was in a mexican restaurant in my hometown of San Marcos, California. While the owner and I didn't work very well together, we still frequent their establishment and give them regular business for our annual "Gringo de Mayo" fiesta. You see, at heart I'm an international cosmopolitan! I've travelled to a dozen different countries (and have at least a dozen more on the waiting list)... I'm an international business student... I love learning of the cultures and history of all!

But believe me, my life in San Diego has also been doused with a number of graffiti taggers in the 'hood... and I've got some stories of other law abusing immigrants (ie. me chasing down a pair of caballeros attempting to leave the scene of a car accident, sexual harrassment directed towards me in the workplace, a man strangling his girlfriend in a car on the side of the road, a man running through my piece of property with a machete in his hand while helicopters flew overhead in search of him ... I could go on). My point in this? This would happen anywhere...

But again.... I would be a much different person (much LESS of a person) if it weren't for the cultural forces surrounding me. While I firmly believe that this country was built by immigrants FOR immigrants, I have a problem with the "illegal" part. Currently our nation is in the middle of an immigration crisis. And due to the geography in north San Diego county a lot of mexican families are affected by this. But I'll state my opinion plainly - I have a problem with immigrants attempting to tell us that all people in the U.S. deserve to stay here whether they are here legally or not.

Please, I welcome you. Come be a part of our society - but please respect this land by being upstanding, law-abiding citizens who pay taxes with the rest of us...

While I don' t think the U.S. Gov't has done everything they could possibly do to keep illegal immigrants from crossing our borders - I do believe that we are all responsible for ourselves and our futures. And while I don't know what will happen to our economy with the May 1st "All American Boycott" - I DO know this: those participating in the boycott will be drawing a line as to who is educated and who is uneducated. This proposed bill is to keep out ILLEGAL immigrants of all descents... to provide additional border protection... to keep the terrorists out. It's not directed at the mexicans on the whole... it's not directed towards those families that wish to improve their standards of living! My own descendants came here from Norway and Germany... like so many of our families, our roots are of immigrants.

What can we learn through all of this? We can be more accepting of our differences... and we can do away with even more or our negative stereotypes ... let's learn to embrace diversity...

Expectations (April '06)

I don’t usually make “New Year’s Resolutions”… and in fact my 2006 started with the mantra of “This is MY year”. I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel for some long-term financial goals. I was starting to see some of the pieces fit together in my journey for “my life with less drama - starring Lori” (including less reality tv). I was starting to truly feel grounded in what I knew I wanted to do in my future. (Yes, I’m married… I own my own home… I’ve been working at the same “day job” for 9 years… and I don’t really have a heck of a lot to complain about.) I am starting to feel that conflict is leaving my world… and the peace is settling.
Maybe this is par for the course? Maybe I’m just “growing up” a bit more? Maybe I truly feel what I’ve been saying for so long … that I like who I am, flaws and all. Maybe I’m ready to admit the things about myself I don’t like – and learn to simply deal with it. I don’t really know.

To steal a term from a well-known daytime talk show host “One thing I know…” is that this year - I’m taking care of me. I’m making decisions for me. I’m learning to put my goals and plans and dreams more toward to the top of the “to do list” … save for the grace of Christ and His intervening in my world… I’m living for me rather than those in this world who have expectations on me.

Security is mostly a superstition... (April '06)

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller

Was I born in the wrong century?!

As of late I've been pondering the thoughts of 'Risk vs Reward'. Asking myself "Should we focus on eliminating all risk from our lives – thereby protecting us from every possibility of error or danger?" OR "Should we enjoy living our lives knowing that if we lived solely in fear then we wouldn't really be living?" OR "Is there such a thing as finding a sensible balance by calculating the risks in our world?"

I think I was born in the wrong century… In the early 1900's children walked home from school – sometimes several miles in each direction. Shucks – even in the 1980's when I was in grade school I was walking or biking home from school by myself – and one day I didn't go home like I was supposed to (and I got in trouble for it). But these days parents are considered to be endangering the lives of their children if they are asked to walk home from school. And don't even think about leaving your children alone at home – that's 'neglect' (even if they ARE 12 years old)! And don't leave them in the car at the convenience store parking lot if you run in for a bag of ice – that's endangerment AND neglect. But really – I'm now 32 years of age and I and my brother and our friends (and probably most of my readers as well) have survived that type of "mistreatment".

Please don't think I'm being cold-hearted and obtuse with my words and emotions here. My heart goes out to every single child and family member who has ever had any horrible event ever happen to them. But I ask out of a bit of dismay and a bit of concern for where this train of thought of living in a protective bubble could lead us - when did our views change? Was it when a misguided child wandered off somewhere or with someone he/she wasn't supposed to? Was it when one very unfortunate and obviously distracted father parked the car at the 'park-n-ride' and left his sleeping baby boy in the back seat on a hot day? Was it when a child with a peanut butter allergy ate something he very well knew he shouldn't have? Some may propose it was the events that transpired on 9/11 that led us to this protective frame of mind...

But I ask – how much can we protect ourselves and our own family from what I view as "the inevitable"? In my humble opinion, our days our numbered. And in my opinion, when it's "our time" it's just that – it's our time. So do we look around each corner and fear and wonder and focus on what could possibly go wrong before stepping out? Or – since we only have so much time - do we go after our dreams and ambitions and live in hope with what opportunities and gifts HAVE been given to us? My point: There is a definite balance between living in fear and LIVING.

Do we teach our children that it's better to be safe than sorry? To limit their creativity and imaginations by putting them in a box and keeping them from spreading their wings and … I could go on. Or do we INSTILL creativity and the desire to learn and achieve – and teach our children, and instill in our SOCIETY, the meaning of adventure and excitement for the unknown? Even if it means tackling our innner fears and becoming better people for it?

At what point do our careful ways (with what I even wouldn't hesitate to call "truly good intentions") become superfluous?! Do we decide not to go outside anymore because of what germs we may catch?! Is this the Cold War of the '50s and '60s in a different form? Should we start dusting off the furniture in our basements – are we moving back downstairs soon?! What happens when our children play in that mud puddle in the backyard when we aren't watching?! Now I may be getting a little ridiculous here – but what happens when they want a driver's license when they are 16 years old? At what point is it just too dangerous for us to let them live their lives?!

One example: Today CNN.com is relaying a story out of Rhode Island (WLNE) about a man and his best friend (German Shepherd named Shultz) playing catch when things all of a sudden went horribly wrong. The 9 ½ " long stick got lodged in the side of the dog. The dog's owner says he will never play fetch with his dog again… really? Is this what this is coming to?! Is someone going to propose that we can no longer play fetch with our dogs – or PETA will come after us for endangering our dogs' lives?! Really?!

Admittedly, I know Shultz and his owner are an extreme example… but I must admit, I think a lot of what our society is already doing on a daily basis is a bit extreme!!! But because of the slow evolution of it all, it doesn't seem extreme to us. And when did we decide our children didn't have to be held responsible for their actions anymore? Because if we spanked them or used the word "no" with them or made them take a time out or apologize to someone they wronged then it might quelch their 'sense of self' or be considered 'mistreatment'. Really?!

(This leads me into what could be a blog topic of it's own – If we don't believe in teaching our children the importance of being responsible for their own actions - and being CONSISTENT in this - then how can we expect them to respect authority - and others at all for that matter - how can we teach them to live with a purpose and to be grateful for what is before them? Compare that to most of our 21st century, poorly-adjusted, selfishly demanding, and out of control screamers and whiners and tantrum-throwers cutting in line in front of people or imposing their own way – and feeling entitled to it all along?! Granted – I know some of you will wonder why I have the gall to say some parents aren't doing right by their children's future because I've never raised my own children. But I've been a responsible child and somehow I survived it - and I've been a significantly contributing adult in the lives of children not my own - and I've seen some well-grounded and well-adjusted parents (who were also once children) make some smart long-term decisions in regards to how they raise their children – and I've seen the outcome of their decisions – and in my opinion, something today and in the near future is going very wrong.)

Now – can I go back in time and live with the Ingalls' family in the little house, you know, the one on the prairie? Where the kids played in the dirt, played with all sorts of crazy bugs and spiders, walked home from school, were solely responsible for some of the household chores and if they didn't get done then dinner had to wait, and got up early in the morning to help dad out back - even on the weekends, got sick or hurt from time to time - and learned to deal with it, and saved their own money instead of it just being given to them when they asked for it, and being punished when it was warranted. Wait - this sounds a tad familiar. It sounds like how my parents raised me. Call me 'old-fashioned', but I think I would have liked it back then… save for the fact that I wouldn't have access to the internet where I could blog all my inner ponderings…

Was I born in the wrong century? (Mar '06)

As of late I’ve been pondering the thoughts of 'Risk vs Reward'. Asking myself “Should we focus on eliminating all risk from our lives – thereby protecting us from every possibility of error or danger?” OR “Should we enjoy living our lives knowing that if we lived solely in fear then we wouldn’t really be living?” OR "Is there such a thing as finding a sensible balance by calculating the risks in our world?"

I think I was born in the wrong century… In the early 1900’s children walked home from school – sometimes several miles in each direction. Shucks – even in the 1980’s when I was in grade school I was walking or biking home from school by myself – and one day I didn't go home like I was supposed to (and I got in trouble for it). But these days parents are considered to be endangering the lives of their children if they are asked to walk home from school. And don’t even think about leaving your children alone at home – that’s 'neglect' (even if they ARE 12 years old)! And don’t leave them in the car at the convenience store parking lot if you run in for a bag of ice – that’s endangerment AND neglect. But really – I’m now 32 years of age and I and my brother and our friends (and probably most of my readers as well) have survived that type of “mistreatment”.

Please don’t think I’m being cold-hearted and obtuse with my words and emotions here. My heart goes out to every single child and family member who has ever had any horrible event ever happen to them. But I ask out of a bit of dismay and a bit of concern for where this train of thought of living in a protective bubble could lead us - when did our views change? Was it when a misguided child wandered off somewhere or with someone he/she wasn’t supposed to? Was it when one very unfortunate and obviously distracted father parked the car at the ‘park-n-ride’ and left his sleeping baby boy in the back seat on a hot day? Was it when a child with a peanut butter allergy ate something he very well knew he shouldn’t have? Some may propose it was the events that transpired on 9/11 that led us to this protective frame of mind...

But I ask – how much can we protect ourselves and our own family from what I view as “the inevitable”? In my humble opinion, our days our numbered. And in my opinion, when it’s “our time” it’s just that – it’s our time. So do we look around each corner and fear and wonder and focus on what could possibly go wrong before stepping out? Or – since we only have so much time - do we go after our dreams and ambitions and live in hope with what opportunities and gifts HAVE been given to us? My point: There is a definite balance between living in fear and LIVING.

Do we teach our children that it’s better to be safe than sorry? To limit their creativity and imaginations by putting them in a box and keeping them from spreading their wings and … I could go on. Or do we INSTILL creativity and the desire to learn and achieve – and teach our children, and instill in our SOCIETY, the meaning of adventure and excitement for the unknown? Even if it means tackling our innner fears and becoming better people for it?

At what point do our careful ways (with what I even wouldn’t hesitate to call “truly good intentions”) become superfluous?! Do we decide not to go outside anymore because of what germs we may catch?! Is this the Cold War of the ‘50s and ‘60s in a different form? Should we start dusting off the furniture in our basements – are we moving back downstairs soon?! What happens when our children play in that mud puddle in the backyard when we aren’t watching?! Now I may be getting a little ridiculous here – but what happens when they want a driver’s license when they are 16 years old? At what point is it just too dangerous for us to let them live their lives?!

One example: Today CNN.com is relaying a story out of Rhode Island (WLNE) about a man and his best friend (German Shepherd named Shultz) playing catch when things all of a sudden went horribly wrong. The 9 ½ “ long stick got lodged in the side of the dog. The dog’s owner says he will never play fetch with his dog again… really? Is this what this is coming to?! Is someone going to propose that we can no longer play fetch with our dogs – or PETA will come after us for endangering our dogs’ lives?! Really?!

Admittedly, I know Shultz and his owner are an extreme example… but I must admit, I think a lot of what our society is already doing on a daily basis is a bit extreme!!! But because of the slow evolution of it all, it doesn’t seem extreme to us. And when did we decide our children didn't have to be held responsible for their actions anymore? Because if we spanked them or used the word "no” with them or made them take a time out or apologize to someone they wronged then it might quelch their ‘sense of self’ or be considered ‘mistreatment’. Really?!

(This leads me into what could be a blog topic of it's own – If we don’t believe in teaching our children the importance of being responsible for their own actions - and being CONSISTENT in this - then how can we expect them to respect authority - and others at all for that matter - how can we teach them to live with a purpose and to be grateful for what is before them? Compare that to most of our 21st century, poorly-adjusted, selfishly demanding, and out of control screamers and whiners and tantrum-throwers cutting in line in front of people or imposing their own way – and feeling entitled to it all along?! Granted – I know some of you will wonder why I have the gall to say some parents aren’t doing right by their children’s future because I’ve never raised my own children. But I’ve been a responsible child and somehow I survived it - and I’ve been a significantly contributing adult in the lives of children not my own - and I’ve seen some well-grounded and well-adjusted parents (who were also once children) make some smart long-term decisions in regards to how they raise their children – and I’ve seen the outcome of their decisions – and in my opinion, something today and in the near future is going very wrong.)

Now – can I go back in time and live with the Ingalls’ family in the little house, you know, the one on the prairie? Where the kids played in the dirt, played with all sorts of crazy bugs and spiders, walked home from school, were solely responsible for some of the household chores and if they didn't get done then dinner had to wait, and got up early in the morning to help dad out back - even on the weekends, got sick or hurt from time to time - and learned to deal with it, and saved their own money instead of it just being given to them when they asked for it, and being punished when it was warranted. Wait - this sounds a tad familiar. It sounds like how my parents raised me. Call me 'old-fashioned', but I think I would have liked it back then… save for the fact that I wouldn’t have access to the internet where I could blog all my inner ponderings…

Ordinary people... (Feb '06)

Quite often I'm reminded of how we don't really live very ordinary lives. Instead we are ordinary people living extraordinary lives! Regularly I get a sense of restlessness - as if my mind, soul or body is telling me it's time for some change because life has become too routine... too drab... too hum drum.

For instance - twice in the past week my pilot brother has called while strolling through the Dallas-Fort Worth airport.... upon the sightings of some well known individuals. He walked into the bathroom and standing in the corner is Ted Nugent - shoveling a cookie into his mouth. And then just a few days later he saw Jesse James (from the tv show 'Monster Garage' and tattooed husband of Sandra Bullock).

And I am awed and amazed by the lives celebrities must live. And then I wake up the next morning, sometimes having to drag myself out of bed, and come to work to sit down to start the same daily routine over again. But this morning I took some extra time to soak in my surroundings.

Within arms' reach are pictures of my 'nearest and dearest' - these bring a smile to my face - and the unforgettable times flood in. Pictures from travels - from where I sit I see some exquisite sights from Amsterdam (Netherlands), Brussels (Belgium), Florence (Italy), Geneva (Switzerland), Y'voire (France), Boston MA, Portland OR and Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz and San Diego CA. And the memories from these places take over and I realize - my life really isn't so hum drum!


It dawns on me... isn't it all in how you view your world?! The objects in my pictures are everyday sights to the people living near them. But they were, and continue to be, so amazing to me - because I had just witnessed them for the first time. All of this to say - we just need to go about our days doing the best we can with what we've been given and for what we've been called to do in our daily lives - and at the same time keep our eyes open! We just never know what we're going to see!!!

"Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn one’s back on life." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Helen Keller

Emotions (Feb '06)

Today is what I call a "sad day".... I don't know WHY I'm feeling blue... I just am. When my husband asks why I'm not smiling more - I don't have a specific reason. It's just one of those days where I woke up sad and I choose to stick it out through these emotions.

Maybe I won't figure out WHY I'm sad... maybe I won't have a great epiphany as to WHAT occurred that is making me feel sad... maybe I will just LIVE in these emotions and let it be... maybe I'm OK w/ the tears running down my face all the way to work... maybe it's OK for me to face the world today without a cheery smile and optimistic outlook.

Does it make me "depressed"? No... not clinically. Does it make me bitchy? No... I'm still responsible for my actions and know when not to speak or act out in anger ... most of the time. Does it make me an uncontrollable, emotional wreck? No... Does it make me a weak human being? No... I'm just living through the emotions... we all have them. So instead of "stuffing" them and pretending that everything is OK and that I've got it all together and that I've got the world on a string - I'm just going to be ME today - and let these emotions run their course.

I know laughter will return at some point today ... it's just a matter of time. I know optimism will creep back in... and the glass will be half FULL again. I know that LIVING IN MY EMOTIONS is the healthiest thing for me to do for myself today.

Carpe Diem!!!

What my heart has been singing lately... (Jan '06)

Lyrics to "I Will Not Be Broken"... as performed by Bonnie Raitt

That was then this is now - Found my way back here somehow - Knew you'd have to let me go - Told you once I told you so

Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...

Someone other than who I am - I will fight to make my stand - Cause what is livin' if I can't live free - What is freedom if I can't be me

Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...

I won't let you near it - I will let my spirit fly - Fly - High - Oh take me down

Take me down - You can hold me but you - Can't hold what's within - Pull me round - Push me to the limit - Maybe I may bend - But I know where I'm not going - I will not be broken - I will not be broken - I will not be...

Recuperation! (Jan '06)

Anyone who knows me (even for a short time) knows that I do not sit still very well. I am constantly running... constantly thinking about the next thing to accomplish, the next thing to get involved with, the next thing to mark off my "to do before I die" list, the next thing to volunteer for, etc. Some see me as the classic over-achiever trying to set world records for Guiness... but in all reality I just don't believe in getting rusty.

To those worried about me living a full life - you'll be relieved to know that I slowed down this week. This last week I SAT. I sat back in my pajamas and watched way too much TV and expected others' to do things for me and FULLY ENJOYED every minute of it.

Actually - I couldn't do much to change the circumstances! So I sat back and enjoyed my surroundings - I enjoyed every last "get well" card and flower bouquet and email message wishing me back on my feet.

Last Friday (Jan 20th) I had my gall bladder removed. This was my first time in surgery (I hate to break it to everyone - but having your wisdom teeth pulled isn't much of a "surgery"... not like this anyway)... and hopefully I will not have to go through too many more surgeries. All went well - and I'm recuperating speedily. And I'm feeling extremely better today than I was yesterday. And hopefully tomorrow will bring even more of an improvement.

In the meantime I will continue to make the most of the circumstances and catch up on some reading, phone calls, visits with family and friends... such is the life! Now if I can just figure out a way to keep this many fresh flower bouquets in my house at all times...

Conflict with "The Book of Daniel" (Jan '06)

If you have not read about the conflict with the new NBC show "The Book of Daniel"... you should take a few minutes to sit back and look into it. Take just a few minutes to look at the true conflict here...

The main character is a pill-popping Episcopal priest with a gay son and a daughter selling drugs, a wife who drives away daily problems with regular martinis, and a recently widowed sister-in-law who has also just "come out of the closet". The priest has a regular visitor - Jesus. Like a cartoon character Jesus pops into the scene to confront the priest and apparently the priest is the only who seems Him. They appear to have regular chats - even cynically laughing at the way things are and making light of the ironies in the priest's life.

What's the conflict? Due to thousands of complaints about the show many affiliate stations across America have cancelled the airing of this show and replaced it with re-runs of something else. According to Yahoo! news the complaints are being submitted to NBC via phone, email, fax and some of them on church letterhead.

But my initial question is "How much more real can you get?!" When I was growing up my dad was a pastor. And while we didn't deal with THESE types of issues in our home, some of these issues were present in our home churches. I know that the reality of our home was a lot like this priest's home in the sense that we all had our own short-comings, our own set of temptations, our own "drama" - after all, NO ONE is perfect nor completely righteous.

And as the TV priest, played by Aidan Quinn, deals with problems in his family, his church and his own person he shows that the Grace of God gets Him through every day. Doesn't man - even those called to be priests and pastors and biblical teachers - all have issues of our own?! And isn't that why we believe in the Grace of God to start with?! The fact that Christ still loves us ... and that after "falling short" of others' expectations of what a Christian should be we can turn around and chat with Jesus. And while Jesus might have done it differently - Jesus is not condoning the behavior. He's showing the priest (and the tv viewers) that grace is there to comfort everyone and to show that He's not abandoning us because of our personal issues or how we react to them.

While my caution to this show would be - let's make sure they continue to do their best to be Christ-like (humble, gracious, holy even in persecution, acknowledging sin and where it stems from and how to be free of it, etc)... and in the meantime let's sit back and see just where we fall on the "holy scale"... this priest's life may not be far from our own.

In my humble opinion - this TV show may end up to be the best witness of Christ's love - ON TV!!! Do you think NBC knows what they are doing with the airing of this show?! I say "AIR IT!" If nothing else, it's getting people to question the authenticity of their own beliefs - and the depth of love Jesus has for all of us!

Once upon a time... (Jan '06)

Below is yet another life lesson I've run across. But more importantly than running across it - to know that I've learned this as well in my own life... I needed to share this because it speaks volumes!

------
Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so they all prepared their boats and left.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to stay with the island until it started sinking. When love was almost sinking, he decided to ask for help. Richness came by Love in a beautiful boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't ... there is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you." Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and you may damage my boat," Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so again Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." " Oh... Love, I am so sad that I prefer to go alone!" Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not listen when love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love became so happy that he even forgot to ask the elder her name. When they arrived on the dry land, the elder went on her own way. Love asked Knowledge, another elder, the name of the elder who had helped him. "It was Time," answered Knowledge. "Time? But why did Time help me?" asked Love. "Because only time is capable of understanding how great Love is," answered Knowledge.

The moral of this story is: "Take the time to know what Real Love is". - author unknown

HAPPY Freakin' NEW YEAR!!! (Dec '05)

This is only for those who need it… those who already have it all together and are already the best you can be – just ignore this entry… but for the rest of US… ;-)

Let’s “ring in the New Year” with a new attitude! For every one of us who has a bad day – we all know there’s nothing wrong with feeling down – but there DOES come a time to snap out of it when it’s time to snap out of it! I'd like to take some inspiration from another nugget of truth I recently read ... don’t let anyone steal the joy which is ONLY YOURS! Don’t focus on the unfortunate parts of the day – instead find MANY reasons to celebrate life every day! For every one of us who has had a “string of bad luck” – pick yourself up by your bra straps or boot straps (or whatever it is you’re wearing) and get over it already!

We are ever so lucky to live in a FREE country, to have a roof over our heads, food on our tables, warm clothing … so revel in the comfort of your Home and in the warm love of your Friends and Family! While they may be all some of us can call our own at least we’ve got them!!! That’s plenty to celebrate… now get about your daily celebrations… and remember what I said about not letting others steal your joy!

Is Re-Gifting OK?! (Dec '05)

It's an age-old question... when is it OK to re-gift? We've come up with our own answer in our household. Answer: On New Year's Eve! So at our annual countdown party we are starting to do a "re-gifting exchange" (white elephant style). (Don't worry Mom - none of your presents will be re-gifted - you did good this year!)

We just love seeing what others' received ... and sitting around and laughing about it all night long while we wait for the "ball to drop"...

I can't wait... to have friends around and laugh and enjoy the evening playing games, sharing stories and stealing others' horrible Christmas presents! I can't wait!!!

Got Gall Bladder? (Dec '05)

On Wednesday, I found out what I had been fearing... I have multiple gall stones. And then we met with a surgeon on Thursday to discuss having my gall bladder removed in the near future. Apparently hundreds of thousands of people have so far survived without their gall bladders!!!

So, I've never had my gall bladder removed before and not quite sure what to expect. (Yes, I'm still just as spicy as ever!) This will be scheduled for just after the New Year. And I hear the recovery is pretty speedy these days as it's a laparoscopic surgery... so they don't have to make a 6 inch long incision anymore. NICE!

Updates will be posted as they come...

Merry Christmas!!! (Dec '05)

Can I just say how bummed out I am about being politically correct this time of year?! Maybe it's just living in Southern California where we're bombarded with everyone making a big deal about taking the word "Christmas" out of Christmas!!! Even Target is now selling only "Holiday Trees". GIVE ME A FREAKIN' BREAK!!!

If you don't want to celebrate Christmas - then don't! At Halloween I don't buy anything w/ witches or ghouls or zombies on it... but I don't start up with an act of Congress to get witches removed from October 31st! What happened to the diversity this nation was built upon?!

However - some of the Christmas cards I make every year will read "Happy Holidays"... as we rub elbows with people of varied beliefs... buddhist, muslim, jewish, christian, even atheist... and while "Happy Holidays" doesn't EXCLUDE Christmas it welcomes everyone else's beliefs in the same breath. Just don't tell me I have to take CHRIST out of Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Sure glad I'm flexible!!! (Dec '05)

For the readers of my last entry... "Flexibility"... you'll be happy to know I'm fed a little bit of own medicine from time to time. At times maybe I'm tested to see if I really stand by my own little blog blurbs. This week was a good week to test me! And boy can I tell you - the surprises have been abundant!

It's the Christmas season so of course things are truckin' right along. It's the busiest time of year for my work at the investment firm - as everyone is counting their losses and dumping them so they don't have to pay so much in taxes. Requests into our office have increased substantially for about a month now and we're doing the best we can with all these trade requests - but when you're constantly explaining to the people on the phone that their request is just 1 of the 1,000 other requests sitting on the back of the desk - a little bit of frustration tends to settle in. But, we make it through ... somehow. Every year we've made it through.

Then at home - let's also think about taking down the Fall decorations and dusting off the Christmas decor, finishing up the Christmas shopping (which also involves wrapping and sending since 90% of the family lives out of state), ... oh - and don't forget, we make our own Christmas cards around here! And don't forget about that baking that you want to do so much! Or those poinsettias you bought to share with other families for a little bit of extra cheer!

Throw into the mix a little bit of a medical scare that happened at 1:45 am Wednesday... when I was awoken to THE most excruciating pain I've ever experienced! I clearly remember my first thought being - "If I pass out I want to have on clean undies... but there's no way I'm going to be able to shave my legs with this pain!!!" Somehow I got dressed. And we debated whether or not we should call 911 or if Lee should drive me to the emergency room. While I've not gone through child birth (as the MOTHER figure in the ordeal) I can only imagine this pain ranked right up there with labor. Thankfully, the pain subsided about an hour later. My Doctor has since ordered a gallbladder ultrasound for Dec 22nd... no big deal - I'm not doing anything else that week! (Say that back to yourself - but make sure you say it with just a tad sarcasm!)

THEN - while I'm taking a nap on Wednesday, my husband wakes me to say "Babe - there's a special delivery for you." I understandably snap back "Can you SIGN for it?!" (Thoughts to myself: "Are you KIDDING me?!") And he looks down the hallway and motions this "special delivery" back to the bedroom and I mutter "What the heck?!" Into the bedroom walk my parents!!!

This is just a BIT of surprise as I had just talked to my mom earlier. She SAID they were just flying back into Portland and were on the road home. She filled me in on their week in Dallas (visiting my lil' bro and sis-in-law for an early Christmas along w/ the grandparents). Well, apparently my mother also likes to plan surprises!!!

So it's now Dec 10th... and last night was my company's annual holiday staff party - which turned out to be quite the shin-dig. So Lee and I left Mom and Dad for an evening on their own and enjoyed a Roarin' '20s party - we even got a bit dressed for the part. And had a great time! Today the Christmas tree goes up and Mom & Dad will help w/ the festivities. The holiday tunes are playing in the background. This surprise visit has been just what the doctor ordered - especially since we didn't get to see Mom & Dad for Christmas last year. Thank God for surprises ... and for flexibility!

Flexibility (Nov '05)

Dictionary.com defines "Flexibility" as "1a. Capable of being bent or flexed; pliable. 1b. Capable of being bent repeatedly without injury or damage."

It is an innate belief of mine that remaining flexible throughout life will bring us all just a little more happiness and contentment. In our fast paced and self-absorbed world of "we do it your way", "instant personalization", "made when you order it" mantras it would be rather easy to get wrapped up in the thoughts of 'if I could just tweak it THIS way then I would be happy.' Or 'if I could just make it THAT way then I would finally be content.'

But I think this mentality has served to accomplish the exact opposite. Expectations are then built up that we can have it exactly how we want it ... and when it isn't that simple we get all bent out of shape. Our attitude goes sour and we start taking it out on others.

Flip the coin.... if we weren't raised in a world where "your wish is my command" then our expectations might be a bit different... a little less self-absorbed maybe?! And just MAYBE we'd be a little more willing to be OK with what was presented to us and completely grateful when someone goes out of their way for us ... instead of simply EXPECTING that of others ... Just a tad more appreciative, enthralled, respectful, fun to be around... you know...

Disclaimer to those who know me well: While I often move things off of "today's to do list"... I don't necessarily consider that "flexibility"... that's more like "procrastination"!

Belly Laughs (Nov '05)

There's a typical routine at the Tisdale house on Tuesday nights. It's Girls night (Gilmore Girls)! And the home is usually ringing with laughter... because the home has welcomed Debbie Russell-Graff. First we'll have dinner while getting caught up on each other's weeks, while also talking about family and friend news, then maybe looking at some of my recent pics or talking about work or doing a little stamping/card making and then moving into the living room for the 8 o'clock hour and Gilmore Girls!!!

This past Tuesday night was no exception. Well, maybe one exception. I was so caught by surprise with something Debbie said (not an unusual event) that I simply could not control myself. I had just taken a large swig of my vanilla coke ... and well, I laughed so hard that I sprayed Debbie with that swig!!! Of course the spraying then perpetuated more laughter... and most of the hard work she had spent on stamping was of course thrown in the trash because Debbie, our work table, and even the chairs behind her had been splattered!!!

As I sit back and think about the friends with whom I have shared true belly laughs I am blessed to be reminded of "the good times" and the hysterical moments of laughter (which quite often include embarrassing moments for yours truly). Some more of these moments:
- recently, in Oregon visiting the Childers (friends for over 25 years) where we had both resounding laughter and some painful tears
- while relaxing with friends at the "Cove" (SCC)
- on a road trip with my family as Mom, Loren and I sang to each other at the midnight hour and made Dad so mad he yelled at us
- with my co-worker and soon-to-be "friend" Julia Alter as we realized we were "kindergarten friends" (stealing chunks of chocolate from the cake we were taking back to the office after a retirement party)
- at Fat Ivor's with my girls Stephanie and Betty as they danced on the laminate floor while I karaoked my heart out to "Copacabana" for the first time
- every time I look at the picture of Lee and I (which Eddie snapped) where I am whole-heartedly slapping myself on the butt
- the afternoon Lee and I played with the distortion tool on Photoshop and created a very unique "family portrait" of ourselves ... we laughed so hard I almost pee'd and he almost quit breathing
- making Christmas cards last year with Kellye Wilborn, Lisa Powell and Debbie listening to Christmas music... and all of a sudden cats are meowing to "Jingle Bells"!
- that warm, summer Sunday afternoon with Julia and Lisa Medina-Kunitzer... more importatly later that evening when we went to Chili's and sat in the bar and pretended to be visiting from Texas (even donning the accent, new names and dressed for the part)
- anything that has to do with Loren and the rest of the boys "Beating Eggs"
- most family occasions where the Marshek cousins are present
- late nights of toilet papering with the youth group (even Mom got in on the action) and anything that has to do with Andy Mizerak or Kendra Groves-Hankins
- and with Debbie there are similar countless memories to recall ... that's what happens with roomies!

Belly laughs... good times... making friendships stronger, futures brighter and memories richer!

What would life sound like, look like, feel like without laughter?! All I know is, I don't want to know the answer to that one! Live well... Laugh often... Love much!

Fallen leaves... (Nov '05)

It's now November... and the trees have turned colors. And they've started shedding their beautifully adorned branches.

Evidence is the piles of leaves along the side of the road.

Just got back to Southern California from an autumn trip to Salem, Bend and Redmond, Oregon. There's some BREATHTAKING colors in them ther' hills!

How lucky was I... to be walking through Drake Park in Bend one afternoon when a large gust of wind picked up a pile of leaves... they tumbled across at least 100 feet of grass... and that noise (the rustling) just warmed my heart!

Can anyone tell this is my favorite time of year?!

What does Tuesday morning feel like?

On the Tuesdays when I'm doing my USUAL thing... it feels like silver. It's cold... at 4 am when the alarm goes off. But I slip right into the shower, then wisk through the kitchen and into the car w/ the cold leather seat at 5 am ... to hurry up and get on the freeway and dart my way through traffic to get to work. Then it feels like artichoke green... where I walk into the investment firm with carpet the color of money and sit down and do my thing.

BUT TODAY... it feels like blue. It's drizzling outside... and that makes me happy! It's 7:15 am ... and I'm still at home. Here I quietly sit... listening to Norah Jones and drinking my espresso from my favorite porcelain mug from Starbucks (which my dear husband so thoughtfully cleaned for me last night knowing I'd want it first thing this morning).

Today I fly to Oregon to spend a week with my parents, grandparents and lil' brother and sister-in-law. My uncle and his wife will fly in later in the week and we will bake and cook and most likely sing together and laugh like no family has laughed... and reminisce and share our life experiences... and hopefully the girls will all go out and get massages while the boys play tennis... and we'll go for country drives...

And then it will feel orange and rusty. And I can't wait for that feeling!