Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Lord, please forgive me...

...I responded in anger.

Someone decided they would do our family a favor and tell us how we should operate. An attempt was made to rip each layer of our family apart... from our heritage to the great grandchildren. (What this individual doesn't know is that this is just going to make us stronger. But that's another blog post...)

And I digress, but I have to say it: WHO DOES THAT?!

I consider this type of behavior to be "below the belt". It was an underhanded attempt to what? Knock our feet out from underneath us?! That's just downright unsportsmanlike.

And what did I do?! I got angry. My heart turned black. It was ugly! I wanted to hop in the car and drive to his house (even though I'd have to drive through a few states to get there) and ... um, I wanted to STEP ON HIS TOES.

OK - in all reality I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to respond in anger and maybe even slap him (I've never done that before... is it a relief to finally do it?!). The response in my heart was ugly... but it's the truth... it's how I felt.

And yes, I know I'm crazy for showing my ugly dark side. Here I sit and type... sending this ugliness out into the blog universe. And I'm doing my best to be authentic... to be real... to be genuine...

Lord, as I meditate on the
first chapter of James, please correct my attitude, heal my stretching and heaving heart and protect me from bitterness.

I know you created me in your image... and I won't beat myself up over this for too long. But I'm still learning how to honor you and your sacrifice, how to put aside my sinful nature and focus on your glory as mentioned in the
eighth chapter of Romans.

Thank you for loving me anyway... I sit at your feet and worship your holiness...


Sandy Ochoa-West said...

Love your honesty and just think, if David never got angry we would only have half the psalms LOL

Lori said...

You're so right Sandy! Just think...


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