Sunday, October 26, 2008

My name is Lori and I'm an addict...

Yes, you read that correctly. I'm an addict. For years, I mean YEARS... I've been addicted to adrenaline. Not the type of adrenaline that makes people base jump or eat poisonous foods or play "chicken" with trains. Although... from what I understand the amount of adrenaline running through my body is nearly the same as those odd balls.

No, my addiction has to do with being rushed... being pushed up against a deadline, lots of expectations on me and a lot to deliver ... working off of a deadline typically makes me finish a project. I've discovered over the years that if I have all the time in the world and 3 projects in front of me... I will inevitably put them off until they reach "must do" status. This addiction is in-line w/ being a workaholic and over-committing myself to doing tasks that I feel I need to do.

Yesterday I jokingly asked a new acquaintance if my love of crafting was an addiction and she asked me a very direct question that rang so true... without a smile on her face she asked "Is your life in chaos because of it?" Happily I can now answer that question "NO!" Last year I could not answer the question that way.

Now, I will use some condensed steps to healing that were cited in an article recently by Glenn Beck, a recovering alcoholic, for something else altogether... healing our cracked Country. But the steps also work for the cracked life I was living.

Step One: Admit we are not powerless.
Step Two: Believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.
Step Three: Decide to take our power back.
Step Four: Make a complete and fearless moral inventory.
Step Five: Admit our wrongs, and our rights.
Step Six: Be ready to remove our defects.

In Dec '07 I admitted I had a problem. I made a decision to slow down. And it's taken until today to be hit with this epiphany: I am aware of my adrenaline addiction.

Yes, it's now October. Yes - it's taken over 10 months to hit the first step... you know, the first step is admitting you have a problem. Yes - I'm now coming out with my problem.

As I think through the healing I've gone through in the past 10 months, and previous addictions I've conquered (and others that I still battle), I'm happy to report that I feel more whole than I've ever felt before.

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